New Perspectives on Mutual Dependency in Care-Giving by Adéla Souralová

Author:Adéla Souralová [Souralová, Adéla]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, Social Work, Sociology, Marriage & Family
ISBN: 9781317088172
Google: 2J61CwAAQBAJ
Publisher: Routledge
Published: 2016-03-09T02:53:21+00:00

Parents’ philosophy of upbringing and the children as teachers

Besides reporting that they were lucky that their parents spent more time with them compared to other Vietnamese parents, the children also reported another side of “luckiness.” The children described how lucky they were that their parents were “not so conservative, and quite open to the European lifestyle.” What does this mean exactly? The fact that the children I interviewed were between the ages of 16–25 years has impacted on how they talked about childrearing, and what aspects of their own upbringing they articulated as important. Very often it was the issue of the teenage life—such as their love life—which was most important for these children, and in which they demanded liberties that most Vietnamese parents usually refuse to grant their children. Many interviewees recalled how they used to be angry with their parents for not letting them to go to the pub with their schoolmates or friends. “While my Czech friends could be at the pub till midnight, I had to be home in the evening,” was frequently repeated in the interviews. The children described their parents as too strict and conservative—for example when it came to their children’s partner/love life. The children I interviewed often described that their parents as being against unmarried cohabitation and dating at an early age.

When recollecting the parents’ attitudes towards her and her upbringing, Tuyet told a story about how she quarreled with her father about who she was and where she belonged. “I said in front of my parents that I am Czech and my dad got really angry with me,” as Tuyet described an incident that happened when she was around 15 years old. “And my dad began explaining to me that I am not Czech, I cannot be Czech because I have Vietnamese parents so I am Vietnamese.” Recalling this talk, Tuyet started explaining her influence on her parents which helped them to overcome the distance between them. She described to me how her father could not understand her, and she was forced to explain to him that she was brought up in Europe and that her “mentality” (to use her word) was European. “It was hard, but I educated my parents. Now my parents understand me because I educated them.” Tuyet offered a couple of examples, including her parents’ openness to her love life, to prove the results of her teaching. Such teaching meant the slight shift in her parents’ mentality—the shift from conservative Asian attitudes to more lenient, European ones.

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