My Holiday in North Korea by Wendy E. Simmons

Author:Wendy E. Simmons [Simmons, Wendy E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-7953-4722-1
Publisher: RosettaBooks

Inside, Non-General explains the history of the room as Fresh Handler translates. Older Handler calls all the shots, including who gets to translate for me when, and it’s Fresh Handler’s turn.

Fresh Handler is somewhat lacking as a translator. Her English is good enough, but she’s exceedingly nervous and doesn’t trust herself, so she’s convinced she’s making mistakes even when she’s not. But I really like her. She truly seems sweet. And on the North Korean scale of cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs bullshit—with crazy, ignoramus cult member rating a ten, and The Truman Show’s Truman Burbank realizing his entire life has been a giant lie a one—I’m guessing Fresh Handler is a solid five. I often think to myself that turning her would be pretty easy, were we not in a country where extraction was anything more than a pipe dream.

So whenever it’s her turn, I try to listen encouragingly, smiling and nodding along as she speaks, doing my best to focus on what she’s saying. But it’s really no use. Garbage in, garbage out, as the saying goes, and instead I soon find myself focusing on trying to telepathically communicate everything I want her to know but can’t say: Your country’s a sham, and your Great Dear dead Leaders are neither the sun nor god, nor can they rule your country from their graves; and the only genius advice any of them are providing during their on-the-spot-guidance visits is how to point.

As she stands there proptalking and I stand there trying to listen, I feel an overwhelming need to comfort her and tell her it’s okay. That she needn’t try so hard. Older Handler is outside flirting with some military guy, and I don’t care.

When my posse exits the building for our next stop, I ask if I can take a few more photos of the room before I leave. Instead I sneak a photo of nice Non-General and a man I can’t identify, who exit before me. The man has his hands crossed behind his back, and for a few seconds Non-General takes his arm. It looks like Non-General has arrested the man and is carting him off to jail. I’m saddened by the irony…since, for all intents and purposes, the man’s already there.

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