My Dark Self by Jessica Huntley

Author:Jessica Huntley [Huntley, Jessica]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-01-15T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

What a mess I am in. I blame myself (mostly, I mean, Alicia deserves some of the blame), but it was my idea to traipse across the country in search of my long-lost twin and track down her adopted brother, sleep with him and develop weird and uncomfortable feelings. I've brought all this on myself. Do you ever have those moments where you wish you could go back in time and erase everything you've done to when things were less ... fucked up? Yeah, of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't be human. We all make mistakes. Let's move on.

Now I'm about to go and visit Alicia's ex-boyfriend and question him on her disappearance with no actual proof he even did anything. Let's face it – maybe she is dead and I'm trying to convince myself that we will be reunited one day in some wonderful, movie-like moment and everything will be perfect. My life will finally make sense. I won't be alone anymore, and things will be fantastic ...

I must be deluded if I think that is ever going to happen. For a start, Alicia (my Alicia) won't ever let it happen. She wants me to herself. There will always be a constant battle going on inside my head, one that no one knows about. It's my secret to keep – my curse, but I just have to know! I can't not know what happened to Alicia. I can't explain it, but I have this overwhelming feeling something bad happened to her and my parents aren't telling me the whole truth. They know more. I just know it and, once I'm finished here, I'm going back home to confront them, hopefully with some sort of evidence to back up my case. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

Before I continue, I'm sure you're wondering why I have forgiven Alicia for all the shit she put me through last night. I haven't. Not really, but I have to try and believe that she is on my side. Who else's side would she be on? She needs me as much as I need her. She obviously doesn't trust Peter (I'm not sure why), but I have to honour her feelings (not that she has any). Peter is a nice guy, but even nice guys have secrets. I'm going to do what she says and keep my guard up around him (and no more sleeping with him).

Peter and I leave Oscar and Harrison snoozing on the sofa. I feel guilty leaving Oscar in a strange place, but he seems fine with it. I can't ask him directly if he is okay, but I think he gets why I'm doing it. We are best buddies, and we always will be. Harrison still doesn't like me (shock horror). I accidentally surprised him by coming into the kitchen once I'd showered earlier and scared the life out of him. He hissed and ran screeching from the room and straight into a door. He was fine, but Peter did give me a weird look like I had somehow possessed his cat.

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