Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin by Rose Lotus

Author:Rose, Lotus [Rose, Lotus]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Death Pout
Published: 2013-12-05T07:00:00+00:00

Tweedledum and Tweedledee,

Were each given a fake toy gun,

So that Tweedledum and Tweedledee,

Could pretend duel and die just for fun.

So they tried to see who best could act,

As if they were shot by a gun,

But real shots rang out, and their ribs both were cracked,

And they died without saying who won!

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Caterpillar

Soon she comes to it, a spot to the side of the path where there is a particular mushroom atop which sits a particular three inch long caterpillar smoking from a hookah.

She awkwardly positions herself to take a tiny bite of the mushroom, as the little caterpillar watches tinily and quietly.

She was required to visit the caterpillar every other day, but that was before her heart got stolen. Biting from the left side of the mushroom always makes her shrink.

And shrink she does. Just as she suspected, everything shrinks at a different rate—her clothes always shrink a bit slower than her body, causing her dress to temporarily be too big for her, and what she was counting on is also true—her arms and wrists shrink faster than the tape wrapped around them, so soon she is easily able to pull her hands free.

She sits now, on the ground, a respectable size for conversing with the atrocious insect. She doesn’t like him at all. He’s immature, literally—he refuses to grow up and become a butterfly. But she’d always been too polite to protest with any more than a level of meekly.

The Caterpillar watches her with detached interest from his differently spectacled eyes—a year ago, he took to wearing a monocle on one eye to appear more distinguished. He lifts the hookah from his insectoid mouth and shoots smoke rings in her direction. “You snuck up on me! Usually I have to put up with your distracting shadow over me before you shrink. Why I say girl! Do you know you’re not casting a shadow?”

Alice looks down to see that it’s true. But she shrugs it off. Weird things happen all the time in Wonderland.

Alice brings out her deck of cards and begins looking through it, quickly finding that the Thirteen of Heartless is still there.

Now the Caterpillar says, “Cards? What’s the meaning, girl? And why did you put tape around your wrists?”

Alice is grateful for the freedom to fold her arms, which she does now. “I didn’t do it. It was the Tweedle twins. They—they were trying to make me cry.” Since she had so recently acquired the skill of deception, she decides to put it to use now, and pretend she’s the same Alice as usual—and she won’t mention the twins’ demise.

The Caterpillar takes a small puff from his hookah, exhales smoke. “Boys will be boys.”

“Brats will be brats. They will get what’s coming to them someday.”

“Perhaps, but not from the likes of you. Why, you are just a weak, little…meek, uninspiring, unimpressive, tiny little little girl.”

“You should be glad I am. That way, I can talk to you.”

“Yes, I’m glad to make you test for me, but I know you.

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