Magic and Mayhem: Sh*t My Vampire Says (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Witches Gone Wild Book 3) by Michele Bardsley

Author:Michele Bardsley [Bardsley, Michele]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kindle Worlds
Published: 2017-06-19T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Five

As Caulder turned around to view the creature that had apparently hitched a ride on him, Lavender joined him on the porch. “How did he do that?” he asked.

“He’s a demon,” said Lavender. “A mean, sulky, soul-eating demon.”

“I don’t eat souls,” said the scaly red being getting to his feet. He was a walking cliché of a demon—cloven feet, pitchforked tail, sharp curved horns. However, as he slowly stood, he transformed into a tall, lanky gentleman dressed in tailored Armani. His hair was slicked back and his eyes, still a terrifying red, were empty—except for the tiny flames burning in the irises. “Give me the vampire, Lavender.”

“No.”

The man rolled his eyes. “You are always so difficult.” He smiled, but the gesture was neither reassuring nor kind. “What’s your deal with the werecougar? The pheromones between you two are enough to choke an elephant.”

“That’s a stupid analogy. What’s between Caulder and I is none of your beeswax.”

“Really? Because you need my permission to marry.”

“We’ve only known each other for less than five minutes,” interrupted Caulder. He glanced at Lavender. “Not that I wouldn’t marry you. I totally would.”

“Aw.” Lavender beamed at him, and his heart nearly exploded from all the tenderness she inspired. He wanted to rub her feet. And pour her a bubble bath. And go shopping with her.

Caulder inhaled a sharp breath. Whoa. Was that mate thinking, or what?

“Ferth is my cousin,” said Lavender apologetically. “I don’t need his permission to do anything. He thinks he’s the shit. It’s so annoying.”

“I am the shit.” Ferth moved toward the porch, but Lavender put up her hand.

“One step further and I will make sure your scales fall off and never grow back.”

He snorted and dared another step.

“And your hair. All of it.” She bared her teeth at him. “From everywhere.”

Ferth looked unconvinced. Caulder’s protective urges encouraged him to eviscerate the demon. And he would gladly kill the asshole to prevent him from bothering Lavender ever again. He offered a warning growl. “She might remove your hair,” he said, “but I’ll remove your entrails.”

“You’re so sweet,” said Lavender, patting his arm. “Thank you.”

The idea of facing both his cousin and a Shifter appeared to stop Ferth in his tracks. He pulled at the cuffs of his shirt, obviously pretending that he’d made the decision to go no further. “You missed Demonsgiving again.”

“I miss it every year,” said Lavender.

“Well, maybe you should’ve come this year. Father announced he’s retiring. I’ll be the leader of the Darklight legion soon.”

“Hooray. New asshole, same legion.”

“So, you can understand,” he continued as though Lavender hadn’t said anything, “how my grandmother marrying a vampire—an old, decrepit vampire—might make me seem weak.”

“Yeah. Because Grandmother is all about your happiness, you selfish, arrogant, mealy-mouthed prick.”

Caulder watched in amazement as Lavender’s gossamer wings turned leathery black and horns—pink, of course—sprouted from her head. Her glittery purple nails curved into sharp claws. She advanced to the edge of the porch, lifting her hands. Black and purple fire danced along the tips of her claws.

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