Love Times Infinity by Lane Clarke

Author:Lane Clarke [CLARKE, LANE]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2022-07-26T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY

“DO Y’ALL EVER THINK ABOUT WHY WE GOTTA FEEL BAD about this stuff?” For a moment, I think Peter’s dug into my head and purged out my thoughts. But there’s no way he knows I ruined things with Derek or my interview so fantastically. I haven’t checked in with him about Monica since Open Mic Night. So now I’m also the worst matchmaker alive.

Peter twists a paper clip into a straight line as he continues. “Our old men screw up, and we end up being the ones who feel like shit about it.”

“Well, Peter,” Dr. Schwartz says, “why do you gotta?” We all give a pathetic attempt at a chuckle.

“I can’t not,” he says. “What would I say? Hey, Mom, sorry that guy’s a douche, but I’m not him? When I have his face and his voice and his rage? I don’t think so. Half the time, I don’t even know why my mom told me. I would’ve been better off not knowing.”

“Do you wish you didn’t know?” she asks.

“I don’t know. I mean, if I didn’t, I’d be cool with Scott because I wouldn’t know I’m not supposed to be. But then I’d be cool with someone who did this sick thing to my mom. And that would hurt her a lot. And my family got a big mouth, yo. It would’ve sucked to hear it from someone else. Might’ve made me think she was even more ashamed of me, hiding it.”

It’s a weird thing, the truth. It’s like we all wish we didn’t know it, but if that were the case, there would be one vital unknown about ourselves. If it weren’t for Grandma, I wouldn’t know, but she felt I deserved an explanation after Renee’s final words. Without the truth, Renee would hate me and I wouldn’t know why. I may not like it, but at least with the truth in my arsenal, I understand it.

“Have any of you ever tried talking to your mothers about it? I mean beyond that initial conversation. Has anyone checked in, for lack of a better term?” Dr. Schwartz asks.

Han leans forward, his pointer fingers tapping against the pads of each of his other fingers. “My mom came back once. When I was twelve. I saw her in a park. She was wearing a yellow sweater, the button-up kind. Her hair was short like mine, but prettier. She was pretty. My grandma, I remember she was angry. Sent her away. No one ever talked about it. They think I can’t handle things. Sometimes they treat me like I’m easy to break. But I’m tough.”

“You are tough,” Dr. Schwartz agrees.

“Did you want to talk to her?” Monica asks. “Your mother, do you wish you had talked to her?”

“No,” Han says, leaning back again, his hands now loose but clutched tight to his sides.

“Why not?” Monica asks.

Han shrugs. “Because she’s a stranger. And I don’t like strangers.”

He says it like it’s such a simple thing. And maybe it is. I don’t, didn’t, want to see Renee, even though for the first time in a decade, she has made it a possibility again.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.