Love, Sorrow, and the In-Between by Gallagher Green

Author:Gallagher Green [Gallagher Green]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Golden Art Publishing
Published: 2022-05-06T00:00:00+00:00

19

Under the Stars

The rain stops as the sun, lower in the west, breaks through the clouds. Like the flipping of a switch, the song birds start singing in the trees around us as we walk the short remaining distance to Nicky’s house.

I walk with Zoe leaning against me; we are both soaked from the rain, and I can feel Zoe start to shiver under the deep shade of the trees. We walk in silence, both of us feeling the comfort that silence can bring.

We step out of the forest path and into the sunlight, a wave of heat hits us and in a few seconds Zoe stops shivering. “The forest is beautiful, but something about the sun… it just makes me feel better,” Zoe says, taking a breath in, as if she can breathe in the light and warmth.

We leave our mud caked shoes outside next to the door and hurry through the house, the air conditioning making our wet clothes feel like ice. We quickly changed into our swimsuits as the sun shines brightly through the wall of windows, and get into the hot tub to warm up.

Zoe’s phone gives the ding of a notification. “Oh, it’s Nicky.”

“Is she about back?”

“No, she actually is going to dinner with a friend and won’t be back until late.”

“We’re on our own then.”

“She said there is a pizza already made in the fridge, so that’s easy enough,” Zoe says, setting her phone back onto the table.

After another fifteen minutes of lying in the bubbling water, Zoe asks, “When did… it happen?” She says this without looking at me, instead staring straight ahead across the view of the forest below and ocean in the distance.

I know what she is asking about. I have been preparing myself to tell her for a long time. “I was seventeen. At the time I didn’t think I was depressed or anything, but looking back I probably had been for a long time and just didn’t know what it was. I only had my mom, and I thought I was holding her back.”

“From what?”

“Everything… enjoying her evenings with friends, moving to Japan, finding someone to love… I was the reason she couldn’t do these things. I always knew that she never wanted to have me… I made her an outcast in her own family.”

“I know she wanted you though,” Zoe says, taking my left hand and closing her hand over the tattoo and scar.

“I know that now, but not then. I figured everything would just be easier for her without me. I didn’t know what would happen to me but I didn’t care either, I just felt like I had nothing here but misery…” Zoe laces her fingers through mine and squeezes my hand. “My mom just happened to come home early from work and found me in the bathtub… I set the record at the hospital for surviving with the most blood lost.”

“Oh my God…”

“The funny thing is, I remember waking up… and when I realized I was still alive, I was disappointed and even angry.

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