Long Way Out by Rand Bishop
Author:Rand Bishop
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rand Bishop
Published: 2024-03-08T00:00:00+00:00
NINETEEN
âLook, Dude,â Ed persisted, âall Iâm saying is... come on, you can tell Uncle Eddie.â
âSorry, Bud,â Russell insisted. âIâm not going there.â
Ed was not ready to take no for an answer. âSo, what youâre saying is, you donât kiss and tell.â
âIf I kissed, I wouldnât tell you,â Russell volleyed. âAnd, if I didnât, itâs none of your damn business. Simple as that.â
Ed drew so close Russell could feel the manâs breath on his neck, and dialed his voice down to office-gossip volume. âOkay, then,â Ed pried, âwhat about Mary Ann? I bet that horny little tart hooked up. Probably with some butch dyke from San Francisco.â
âFinally! Something I can tell you about.â Russell enhanced this tease by affecting a knowing grin.
âNow weâre talkinâ!â Ed rubbed his hands together greedily, adopting the posture of a Labrador retriever awaiting a treat for being such a good boy.
Russell leaned in. âYeah,â he whispered, as if he was about to grace Ed with the secret of all secrets. âThat definitely didnât happen.â
âFuck you, Russ!â Ed fumed, executing an exasperated about-face and stomping out of the breakroom.
From Russellâs first post-convention stride out of the elevator, Mike â then Ed, then Mike, then Ed again â had been badgering him mercilessly. Consistent with their mutual inclination to place odds on any variable outcome, Dumb and Dumber had made a wager as to which of them would be the first to glean even the tiniest scrap of dirty laundry from the prior weekend in Austin.
Russell locking his secret away in solitary confinement had thus far provided security for the secret. But that policy came with consequences he hadnât foreseen. Internalizing the truth for any extended period of time eventually becomes toxic for the internalizer. If an incarcerated skeleton is never freed to amble into the sunshine, it begins to fester and emit a rank odor. Russellâs best-kept skeleton was busily plotting to tunnel out of its underground cell by whatever means necessary. And, should its jailer continue to deprive it of fresh air, the prisoner might have to resort to even more desperate measures, like burning the jailhouse down. The round-the-clock vigilance required to keep his secret from exposure was slowly but steadily ripping Russell in two. Day by day, one stitch at a time, the curtain dividing one side of his double life from the other was coming apart at the seams. This disintegration wasnât due to any external force. As in one of those classic horror plots, the real threat was coming from inside the house.
Two steps into the hallway, Russell put on the brakes to avoid a collision with Mary Ann. âI was just looking for you,â she said. âHow about you and me catching some lunch?â
âAre you sure thatâs a good idea?â asked Russell, attenuating his voice to thwart the eavesdroppers. âMike and Ed are already kinda jumping to conclusions.â
âLet their tiny, little monkey brains go ape shit,â she jested, before breaking into a familiar Bonnie Raitt refrain: âLetâs give âem somethinâ to talk about,â replete with finger snaps and wiggling booty.
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