Lochlann by Andrea Speed

Author:Andrea Speed [Speed, Andrea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 978-1-63533-395-4
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2017-05-22T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TEN

CAS WAS of two minds about recent developments. One, the revelation that Lochlann was not a stone-cold psychopath, but an actual human being, was good. He didn’t want to have to trust a complete head case. But on the other hand, robot Lochlann would be better for getting the hell out of there. Could he ever tell anyone to suffer PTSD and guilt on their own time because they had a mission to complete? That’d make him the psycho.

At least rescuing the CIA asset had not been as bad as he feared it would be. Part of it was the skill of the team that Lochlann had assembled, and the rest was sheer luck. Most of the Russians on site couldn’t shoot for shit. Maybe if they knew what they actually had, they’d have sent their best people.

By the time they arrived back at Alpha HQ, Lochlann had managed to slap on his impressive poker face, although it was fragile. Again Cas was torn between feeling bad for him and being relieved. Lochlann left to be debriefed, and Cas hoped he was able to hold it together himself as he went back to his assigned area. He still hadn’t memorized the layout of the confusing base and hoped he wasn’t there long enough to make the effort worth his while. He wasn’t sure he could memorize all of it if he were there a thousand years.

Being alone gave him time to think, which he didn’t want. Lochlann was troubled over what he had done? He wasn’t alone. Cas had done some things he’d rather not think about in service of his undercover mission in the cartel. Some nights it was hard to look at himself in the mirror. Thinking about Lochlann brought back Jonesy, an old deep-cover operative he once met in a bar. His words of wisdom were “You do what you gotta do.” While that wasn’t super helpful, in retrospect, Cas wasn’t sure what, if anything, would’ve helped. It seemed contradictory to commit crimes to help nail criminals, and it was certainly wrong. Yet here they were.

Cas ran out of ways to keep himself busy and wondered if Alpha had a library. With its sheer size, it must have, but when he couldn’t take it anymore, he wandered off to Lochlann’s quarters to wait for him. He had alcohol, right? Cas felt like he could really use some.

As it turned out, Lochlann was back from his debrief by the time Cas found his quarters. “You okay?” Cas asked. Lochlann nodded as he let Cas in. His poker face was still in place, but as soon as Cas was inside, Lochlann held up a bottle of vodka, and asked, “Join me?”

He didn’t need to ask twice. Lochlann made his own drink. He cut the vodka with tea and pineapple juice and called it a dirty, tropical Arnold Palmer. They were really good. Lochlann still didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him, but that was fine by Cas, as he didn’t feel like chatting either.

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