Lipstick Lovers by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Xcite Books
Published: 2012-10-07T21:00:00+00:00

Alison

by Shea Lancaster

The first pint is always the best. You know that feeling, when the barmaid puts the glass to the nozzle and the pump seems to take for ever. Yes, it may take 119 seconds to pour the perfect pint, but there’s no need for her to be so methodical in her work when I have had such a horrendous day at mine. But, finally, the swirling black elixir floats over the counter and into my hand, as I sink into creamy happiness the way a nomad sinks into an oasis.

‘Why can’t you drink lager like most people?’ my friend, Kate, complains, embarrassed by my “butch-looking” Guinness.

‘Because it makes me burp,’ I answer her frankly. She rolls her eyes at my uncouth demeanour and straightens her skirt for the thousandth time.

‘Do I look OK?’

‘You look beautiful.’

‘You didn’t even look at me!’ Kate’s bottom lip is quivering and she looks like she’ll start bawling any minute. I fix her with a more thorough stare and make a point of looking her up and down.

‘You really do look fine,’ I insist. ‘But he already knows what you look like when you’re at your worst, so why make all the effort?’

‘Because it’s a date.’ Kate’s level of calmness has dipped drastically, and I fear that she is at breaking point. I decide not to test her any more and instead ask her about her plans for the evening. She tells me about Mike’s need to avoid anyone he works with. Kate says it’s “some stupid rule about staff and patient boundaries”. I try so hard not to raise an eyebrow at this point. The Left Eyebrow of Withering Contempt has troubled many people and rocked many friendships. Although, in my defence, on such a subject as Kate’s hot new man I feel I am allowed to be somewhat dubious. Mike is right to want to avoid people he works with. He met Kate as she was wheeled into the A and E department, screaming blue murder due to a horrendous kidney infection. It was while he was catheterising her that he remarked on her lovely long legs. Kate, as high as a kite on gas and air, promptly asked him for a date and he accepted and took her number, which she somehow managed to relay perfectly.

The eyebrow is not necessary, as Kate notices my scepticism.

‘He was thoroughly professional the whole time.’

‘Of course he was,’ I reply dryly. ‘Only he’s touched your lady garden without having ever even kissed you.’ Kate looks ready to kill me. I am saved by her sudden beaming smile directed over my shoulder, and I realise Mike is here. She stands up, gives him an awkward wave, and he comes over. The first thing I can’t help but notice is how short he is, at least in comparison to Kate, who stands at five feet nine in just her stockinged feet. Tonight, she is wearing green patent shoes with six inches of heel slapped to them. Mike is about five feet four and obviously not in heels.

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