Liphar Short Stories Volume #3 by Liphar Magazine

Author:Liphar Magazine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: love, hate, loss, sorrow, pain, laughter
Publisher: Spangaloo Publishing
Published: 2016-02-12T00:00:00+00:00

Put On Your Big-Girl Pants:

When a Girl Becomes a Grown Woman

Nancy Chovancek

Frankly, I wasn’t impressed with my first run-in with a naked man. I really didn’t understand what the big deal was. His bathrobe was horrendous. Leave it to a woman to mention his wardrobe first. The blue chenille robe was ragged at the edges and it appeared he hadn’t washed it in weeks—probably months. He had no concept of manscaping, not that this term was used back in the late seventies. But he looked like an unshorn sheep—just like his bathrobe.

I recalled this memory when I read Tina Fey’s Bossypants. In the beginning of the book, she went to a workshop with a bunch of women. The question of, “When did you first feel like a grown woman and not a little girl?” arose.

As babes in the woods, they answered with situations like, “When construction workers whistled at me,” or similar, innocent type situations.

This had me thinking about my own experience, when I had the epiphany-type moment and came to the conclusion that, yeah, I guess I’m a grown woman now. Most people will only tell you one sampling, but I actually had two samplings. Or maybe I should call them astonishing disturbances.

The first astonishing disturbance was when I was thirteen or fourteen years old. It was that awkward age when you aren’t a child any longer, you realize the opposite sex isn’t so bad after all, and your body starts morphing into something other than what you were used to a year before. You could spend the night at friends’ homes and go to carnivals and shop at the mall without your parents in tow. Most of these things were on my agenda, but something else happened to me that I would bet my favorite album on at the time (Electric Light Orchestra), didn’t happen to anyone else. This particular day stopped me in my teenage tracks and immediately promoted me to womanhood.

My sister, her friend, and I were walking out of a shopping mall one late-summer evening after purchasing some plaid ponchos, gaucho pants, and musk perfume. Yes, I’m aging myself. Stick with me on this one. As we were walking toward our car, another car slowly passed us. This often happens in a parking lot. People like to stalk you while you walk to your car so they can claim your parking spot. This behavior is rather annoying, especially during the holidays when the person stalking you has no idea that you parked two miles away.

The car passed us and slowed to a stop about twenty-five yards away. The driver door opened. A man wearing a trench coat, or maybe his mother’s blue chenille bathrobe, probably with wadded-up tissues in the pocket, stepped out of the car and flashed us.

He was completely naked, except for the really bad-looking bathrobe. He didn’t even have shoes on. And if I recall correctly, the DMV’s driver guide stated that you were not allowed to drive without shoes. It’s against the law.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.