Leap of Faith by C F White

Author:C F White [White, C F]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-03-30T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter fourteen

Acro Balance

Darius didn’t make it to the Cookhouse for dinner.

He hadn’t eaten lunch either. He’d fallen into an alcohol-induced coma in his van, woken up in time for the dinner but couldn’t bring himself to face them all. Least of all Carlos. Or Benoit. Or Francine. Or any one of the crew who would ask him how things were going with the newbie.

Because what could he say? Things were great? He could see Charlie was a perfect fit. That he was a strange, almost exact replica of Louis that could slot into the routine like the missing piece of the Godeaux puzzle. And not only that, he was conjuring up those feelings long buried since his unrequited love had left without a word. Everyone at Godaeux’s had accepted that Darius was nothing more than a player who wanted to grow old alone, and embittered. When all he’d wanted was a full partnership. But a professional one was the only one that had been on the cards.

Now he didn’t even have that.

He sighed, ripping himself from tangled bedsheets, and dressed. He then crept out of his van so as not to alert anyone and ventured through the village and out of the park. He ended up along the beachfront and stopped at a quaint café. His stomach growled. So he ordered a polystyrene box of fries to go, then scuttled down onto the beach, falling into soft golden sand to eat the food Francine would tut at him for.

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

He wouldn’t exactly call it comfort food, but it did the job. And as the sea breeze filtered through his hair and waves crashed onto the shore, he watched the sun worshippers and families who’d hung on to the bitter end pack up their bathing suits and be replaced by early evening joggers and dog walkers. He realised then that he hadn’t seen enough of the sights on his travels recently. He used to. When parking up at new destinations, he, Louis, and the other single circus folk, would have taken a day to tour their surroundings and party until dawn. But over the past few years, Darius had believed he’d seen it all and spent the down days in his van. Getting old. Getting very old.

Isn’t life supposed to begin at forty?

Chewing the last fry, he slapped the box shut and wiped his salty fingers down his jeans. It was a relatively quiet spot. So he used his alone time for a bit of mindfulness yoga and stretching. A chance to free his thoughts. To unbind them from a certain young, curly-haired menace who had caused this wallowing for a life he’d not been able to have. Before Jersey, Darius had resigned himself to this misery. To living out his days as he did. But something had changed. Shifted. And he wasn’t sure he was ready for it.

Ready to let go in order to hold on.

Because eventually, they all let go yet it was Darius who fell.

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