Isolated World by Susan Eastwood

Author:Susan Eastwood
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Tags: Growing Up Deaf In An Uncomprehending Society
Publisher: Memoirs Publishing
Published: 2015-01-27T04:30:00+00:00

CHAPTER FIVE

Defeating depression

I did wonder when I was going to get a letter from Michael, as it had been 19 years since we had last seen him and I would have to be prepared for him to want his money from the house and to have the house sold and divide the money between us as Jamie turned 17, but I received nothing. Then in 2008 I received a letter from a solicitor on behalf of Michael instructing me to sell the house. I got very upset as I was only working part time. I had to rely on my sons to make phone calls and arrange for a solicitor and go with me to see the solicitor on their days off. I got some photos taken of the rooms in the house to take to the solicitors to prove that I had spent a lot of money on the house, redecorating every room, having the central heating put in and a new boiler, plus new doors and a new bathroom. I had letters coming and going to the solicitors. However we did come to an agreement on the price of the house. I then had to get a mortgage, so I had to ask Jamie on his day off work to go to see a financial adviser. Fortunately we were able to get a mortgage and pay Michael off. That meant we all were finally free of him. We have not seen or heard from him since then.

I started to eat more unhealthy food, like fish and chips or Chinese takeaways. I would buy a box of chocolates and hide it because I wanted to eat them all myself - I would eat the lot in one night, and very soon I put on a lot of weight. I couldn’t understand why - I didn’t seem to care, just carried on eating, and I didn’t have a period for a long time. I would always feel tired, but never had any sleep. I would lie awake in bed.

It took me a long time to realize that I had depression. I think it was due to the fact that I was at home looking after my son’s and my own daily life with little money and little social life. I was depressed for about seven years and wanted to go to the doctors but kept putting it off, as I knew communication would be difficult. I found food and chocolate comforting. It took me a while to buck up the courage and go to consult Dr Smith (I had been told his son was deaf) by writing it down on paper. He give me low dosage anti-depression tablets. I did later go to see him again to ask if I could get counselling, but he refused.

I really wanted to do something with my life, and when I learned that other deaf people were teaching hearing people sign language I was very interested. However I felt I was too fat and ugly to do that, but I did not really know who to ask about it.

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