Is It Just Me?: Or Is It Nuts Out There? by Whoopi Goldberg

Author:Whoopi Goldberg
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Language Arts & Disciplines, Etiquette, Humor, Social Science, Reference, Interpersonal Communication, Communication Studies, Anecdotes & Quotations, Courtesy, Entertainment & Performing Arts, General, United States, Family & Relationships, Personal Memoirs, Interpersonal Relations, Biography & Autobiography, Women, Cultural Heritage, Form
ISBN: 9781401323844
Publisher: Hyperion
Published: 2010-10-05T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 34

Play Nice or Stay Home

Rude fans at sports stadiums don’t stop at heckling. Hell, no. Why should they be satisfied merely yelling trash about a player’s mother’s STDs (yikes!), when they can step it up to an arrest for disorderly conduct?

These people are jackasses. Plain and simple But come on . . . we both know it’s more than that. I’m going out on a limb here. I’m going to say that I believe these . . . offensive individuals . . . may have some special help. And I think it’s alcohol.

What?? Get outta town . . .

These losers are somewhere on the scale between “Buzzed” and “Hammered Off Their Asses.” And here’s the thing . . . If you can’t hold your alcohol, you should not be at the game. Drinking. That’s it right there. You should not be at the game drinking if you cannot hold your liquor.

For the longest time until it was finally stopped, the old Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands had a weekly gathering of about five hundred drunks near the infamous Gate D, harassing women every Sunday football game. It was a total mob mentality. And people would wonder, how did five hundred people get away with that for so long?

I know why. It’s exactly because there were five hundred of them. Call it vulgarity in numbers. Because if no one gets reported, or nobody gets in trouble, a guy figures, “Well, if I’m with them, I can’t get in trouble either. They can’t find me in five hundred other people.” And when you include alcohol in that, man . . . Alcohol tends to make people believe that it’s OK for them to do or say anything.

Duh.

But, oh, what stunts they pull . . . Like the fans who like to pack batteries in snowballs and throw them at the football players. That’s just dangerous. What gives anybody the right to come in and throw a brick dressed as a snowball at somebody and think it’s funny? What if they hit him? That’s one player going to the hospital and one fan going to jail.

The hot new summer sport doesn’t seem to be baseball. It’s fans running out onto the field to be Tasered by cops. Why? . . . Really, why??

What makes people think they have the right to leave their house and go to some stadium and be obnoxious?

Stay home.

Who decided a stadium is a free pass? I think a lot of people believe it is. It’s the “If It Happens in Vegas” mentality . . . only in the bleachers.

How about when you’re sitting there and folks show up with all sorts of crap and start spreading it out on the seats like it was a sale? They spread out like they were in their living rooms or Man Caves at home. If you’re one of these people, here’s The Big Question: What gives you the right to go to a stadium and pretend you’re at home? And if you have a Man Cave? You may already be a lost cause.

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