In a Haze by Jade C. Jamison

Author:Jade C. Jamison [Jamison, Jade C.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-03T16:00:00+00:00

15

Where is he?

I’ve checked my room and his. The living room. The rec room, of course. I’ve wandered the corridors.

It’s not like there are a lot of places to hide around here.

As I head toward the cafeteria, I find him in the hallway.

When he sees me, Joe asks, “How’d your visit go?”

The first words out of my mouth are “Did you know I was married? I mean am married. I’m married. Did you know that?”

“You’re married? No. How the hell would I know that?” His eyes shift to behind me and he lowers his voice. “Maybe we should have this conversation somewhere else.”

Ah, yes. I’d been so emotional, I wasn’t hiding anything—and, perhaps, I’m giving myself away once more.

I say, “Let’s go to my room.”

We round the corner, trying not to walk too quickly, and soon we’re standing next to my bed.

“So who was your visitor?”

“My husband.”

“And you had no idea.”

“No. I told you, Joe. I don’t remember anything before, um…Friday? And I have kids, too.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“Two. A boy and a girl.”

“Holy shit.”

I swallow. “You know what I felt like? I don’t know why the hell I remember this—but did you ever see someone pull out a tablecloth and all the dishes are still exactly the way they should be?”

“Yeah.”

“Except all my dishes went crashing to the floor. That’s been my day.”

Joe seems introspective now, as this information seems to hit him as it did me earlier. He takes several slow, quiet breaths and then puts his hands on my upper arms, causing me to look in his eyes.

They’re so close.

Those beautiful cobalt eyes. This is the man I feel something intense for, not the polished lawyer back in that room. And yet, knowing I married him, I’ve vowed some sort of commitment to him.

Haven’t I?

Do I still owe him that?

Has he abandoned me here?

“Do you love him?” Joe must have been reading my mind—or else it’s just so obvious on my face.

“I must have at one time, right?”

“Do you love him now?”

“How can I, Joe? I don’t even know him. But…”

He kisses me on the forehead. “I know.”

Does he? Does he know we can’t do again what we did last night?

Before I can ask, he has another question for me. “So what else did you learn about yourself?”

“I know why I’m here. I tried to commit suicide.” Joe nods but says nothing. “I tried to overdose on pills.”

“Dublin.” The voice behind me sounds somewhat familiar. Joe lets go of my arms and I turn to see the tech who led me out of the visitor room earlier. “Time to leave.”

I turn my head back to Joe, wondering if he’s in trouble. He says to me, “See you at lunch, I guess.”

It isn’t until I watch him walk out the door that I then notice a second tech in my room, someone I’ve never seen before. No, it’s not a tech. It’s a nurse.

With a cart.

He says, “Have a seat, Anna.”

It’s not like I have a chair in here. I don’t question him, though, because he seems quite serious.

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