I Was an Internet Addict by Eric Feka

Author:Eric Feka
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: internet, comedy, satire, online, mmorpg, world of warcraft, gaming addiction
Publisher: Hercules Bantas

(iii)

Raine had barely packed her next cone when we heard the front door slam. A short time later, the dark corridor spat a twitchy, slightly built young man into the room.

'Hello everyone,' he said, and dived onto the sofa. 'Feeling up to it?' he asked Raine, while his hands made indecent forays about her person.

'No, and stop pawing me, you twisted little shit,' Raine said and kicked him off the sofa. He landed on the floor beside Robert and myself and subjected us to a manic smile.

'Harry, I'd like you to meet Patrick,' Irene said, 'Raine's ridiculous boyfriend. Patrick, this is Harry, Roby's housemate.'

'A pleasure to meet you,' Patrick said and bounced up off the floor onto his feet. 'You're that gaming geek Irene's been talking about, aren't you? I thought you'd be younger for some reason. Still, you're kind of cute for a geek.'

'He ain't no geek,' Irene said, 'he's not even on Facebook. He's just a man with too much time on his hands.'

'I can help you out with that,' Patrick said, his voice dripping with sleaze. 'I like it when grumpy old men teach me how to behave.'

'You are the world's most disgusting individual,' Irene said.

'Hey, I have needs, you know, and my drug fucked Rainey can't meet them,' Patrick said. 'Did you hear that, love of my life? Rainey? Rainey? Oh, hell, she's passed out again.' He took the bong from Raine's unresisting hands and placed it on the coffee table. Then he reached beneath the sofa and dragged out a blanket that he tucked around Raine's sparsely clad form. His face softened as he did so, and his movements betrayed a tenderness and affection that belied the self-centered mania that seemed to make up most of his persona. 'If the drugs don't get her, the cold will,' he said, sitting back down on the sofa.

'Stop being dramatic, weed never killed anyone,' Irene snapped.

'Yeah, but alcohol has.'

'Well, that's the night then,' I said, hoping against hope that the others would agree.

'What are you talking about?' Patrick said. 'It's just started. Let's all get naked and see what happens. Irene and I will be the girls and Harry and Roby can be the boys.'

'Yeah, yeah, you wish,' Irene said, but without rancor. 'Why don't we go to the casino?'

'Oh come on!' Patrick almost wailed. 'You're always at the bloody casino. He turned to Robert and I. 'Stay here, boys, and I'll treat you to a tongue lashing that has to be felt to be believed.'

'Off to the casino we go,' Robert said, and bounced to his feet.

'It sounds good. I've never been,' I said, getting slowly to mine.

The other three looked at me as if I had just proclaimed that I was the messiah, and had turned water to Sugarall as proof of my claim. 'What,' I said, when the staring did not end after a few seconds.

'You've never been to the casino?' Robert said. 'Everything happens at the casino. How could you live in this city and not go to the casino?'

I shrugged.

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