I Came Out for This? by Lisa Gitlin

Author:Lisa Gitlin [Gitlin, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781612940199
Publisher: Bywater Books

Terri’s visit to my place was a disaster. I never should have invited her over here. It was bad enough that she saw half the population of this place eating at a mission. Now her impression of my living situation has become reinforced by this idiotic scene that occurred right under her nose.

It started the moment I let her in the front door. As the two of us passed one of the rooms, we heard yelling, and I realized it was the room belonging to Fred, the big silent guy with the marbled face that I’d never heard a peep from the whole time I’d been living here. Then the door flew open and there was Fred literally flinging this smarmy-looking white guy out the door, and the white guy crashed right into Terri, who went reeling, and then he ran to the exit, and Fred yelled after him, “Motherfucker, you’d better run, ’cause I got something that can blow a hole in you bigger than your Elmer Fudd head!” Terri recovered herself and I hustled her upstairs, and there was busybody Jerome eavesdropping over the banister, and he said, “They’re at it again, I see.” Again?, I thought. I barely knew the man existed before then. Then Jerome smiled suggestively at Terri and drawled, “Well, hello, Terri,” in this buttery voice, and Terri said hello in a not very friendly voice, and then that dopey transvestite, Calliope, came shuffling upstairs. She is a sight to behold, with her plunging red satin dress and satin shoes and dangling earrings (Terri probably thought she looked hot), and Calliope looked at Terri and said, “What are you lookin’ at?” I introduced Terri to her, and Terri said “Calliope?” because she didn’t like being dissed. Calliope glared at Terri, put her hand on her hip, whirled around, and strutted into Jerome’s room, where they would spend the next several hours watching Jerry Springer and other highbrow fare.

We lay on my bed and watched about four Twilight Zones. I don’t know how Terri managed to lie on a single bed without touching me, but she did. She lay against the pillow with her arms at her sides, not really hanging off the bed but leaving a good couple inches of space between us that I could not penetrate and didn’t even dare. I opened a bottle of wine and we drank practically the whole thing and I may have been sipping on dishwater, with all the effect it had on me. They did show our favorite Twilight Zone about Anthony the evil mind-reading boy who zaps people into the cornfield, but I felt the most unnerving identification with the zapped people and it made me feel very creepy. The other reruns were good too—they showed “Talky Tina” about the doll who ends up killing the child’s mean father, the one about the woman who is chased through a department store by mannequins and who turns out to be an escaped mannequin herself, and that

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