“I Am a Phenomenon Quite Out of the Ordinary”: The Notebooks, Diaries and Letters of Daniil Kharms (Cultural Revolutions: Russia in the 20th Century) by

Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Academic Studies Press
Published: 2013-01-31T16:00:00+00:00

[From notebook 23]

Sunday, September 11. Went to the farmer’s market. Bought some bread and milk. Went with A. I. to Mostorg, got a price for my cigarette case (33 r.). Went to the library. Met a young lady from the foreign literature section.

Sent Natasha a letter. Came home. Tired, sweaty, and gray. Maria Petersen came by. We drank coffee. P. left. A. I. was at Valya’s relatives. He had dinner there. I’ve got 10 rubles left.

7 o’clock. Temperature 99 F. Safonova came by. Talked about her childhood. She left at 11:30. Malenkina is with A. I..

Midnight. Temperature. 98.4 F.

* * *

Monday, September 12. Got up at 8:30. Ran into Petersen. She stopped by at my place. We went to the Cathedral of Saint Sergius. Then I went with Vvedensky to Mostorg, sold the clasp from my watch chain and my cufflinks. Had a bite to eat in the student cafeteria. We bought about 18 lbs of flour, a kilo of rye, and a kilo of cooking oil at Torgsin. Then we visited the priest from the monastery cathedral. At home we baked pancakes. I’m feeling weak and my chest hurts.

4 o’clock. Temperature 99.1 F.

At 6 o’clock, I went to the Church of St. Sergius. There was a funeral service going on.

6:25. Sweating, weakness, and fever. Plus my head’s in a fog and feels heavy. All in all, nothing’s changed.

6:40. Temperature 99 F.

Reading Hamsun.

Ate pancakes with V.

Feeling unwell. Head in a stupor.

11 o’clock. Temperature 98.8 F.

* * *

Tuesday, September 13. Woke up feeling tired all though my body. Sweat heavily during the night. Got a letter from Zabolotsky. Weather getting worse.

11:15. Temperature 98.6 F.

Feeling unwell. Aches and pains in my chest and sides. The main thing is how my head feels. A weakness in the back of my head and my thoughts sluggish. I lay down and slept during the day. Just woke up. I have to cook some pancakes. My temperature really worries me.

O Lord! Do not torment me.

3 o’clock. Temperature 99.1 F.

In A. I.’s room my temperature turns out to be 99.1 F. Erbshtein dropped by drunk with some hooligan. I threw both of them out. We made pancakes.

I feel dullness in my head and grayness in my face.

6:30. Reading Hamsun. Feel weakness and trembling.

In A. I.’s room, my temperature is 99.3 F.

At 7 o’clock, my temperature is 99.7 F.

Oh, I’m so worried about my health. There’s consumption in Kursk, it’s very serious. Must muster all my courage. Each day my temperature goes higher. It’s not even ordinary tuberculosis, but galloping consumption.

I’m covered in a cold sweat from fear. The constant fear and constant fever. I really must be strong since I haven’t yet lost my mind.

8 o’clock. Temperature, 99.5 F.

Safonova came by. She had x-rays taken. The results are negative. Nothing terrible. We made pancakes. Around eleven, temperature 99.1 F.

As I was talking about something, I raised my voice and a weakness suddenly spread out from my chest through my entire body. Feel unwell. There’s a wheezing from under my collarbone.

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