How Will You Measure Your Life? by Christensen Clayton M. & Dillon Karen & Allworth James

Author:Christensen, Clayton M. & Dillon, Karen & Allworth, James [Allworth, James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harper Collins, Inc.
Published: 2012-05-15T07:00:00+00:00

Sacrifice and Commitment

This may sound counterintuitive, but I deeply believe that the path to happiness in a relationship is not just about finding someone who you think is going to make you happy. Rather, the reverse is equally true: the path to happiness is about finding someone who you want to make happy, someone whose happiness is worth devoting yourself to. If what causes us to fall deeply in love is mutually understanding and then doing each other’s job to be done, then I have observed that what cements that commitment is the extent to which I sacrifice myself to help her succeed and for her to be happy.

This principle—that sacrifice deepens our commitment—doesn’t just work in marriages. It applies to members of our family and close friends, as well as organizations and even cultures and nations.

For illustration, let me offer you the example of the U.S. Marines, who achieve a deep sense of attachment to the organization, to their peers, and to their country. But not because it is fun—surviving Marine Corps training alone may be one of the hardest challenges of many young Marines’ lives to that point. The job almost kills them. They sacrifice so much for the corps and their fellow Marines. But you can routinely see “Semper Fi”—Always Faithful—bumper stickers on cars all over America.

Our daughter, Annie, also experienced this while serving as a missionary for our church in Mongolia. When she first found out that she was going there, her younger brother, Spence, got her a travel guide. It offered a bleak picture: “This is a great country. But we don’t think you should go in the winter, because it gets down to 65 degrees below zero. And, actually, we don’t think you should go in the summer, either: it gets up to 125 degrees Fahrenheit. But especially don’t go in the spring: sand storms erupt on the Gobi Desert. If you get caught in one, it will strip the paint off your car and the skin off your body. Other than this, though, you will love your time in this beautiful nation!”

That didn’t look too promising, but we shipped her off to Mongolia nonetheless. As the book predicted, it was a brutal experience at times; we now understand why Genghis Khan was so eager to migrate south. It is one tough place. Because of the climate, there are just a few places where grains and vegetables can grow. As a result the diet—even snacks—is composed almost entirely of animal products, from horses, sheep, yaks, and goats. Yet Annie persisted for the full eighteen months of her assignment there, teaching and trying to help everyone whom she met there become a better person. It was one of the hardest things she’s done in her life.

But you know what? Annie left half of her heart with the Mongolian people forever—and it greatly strengthened her commitment to our church.

I feel exactly the same way about Korea and the remarkable Korean people because I served as a young missionary in Korea back when it was one of the poorest countries in Asia.

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