How Trust Works: the Science of How Relationships Are Built, Broken, and Repaired by Dr. Peter H. Kim PhD

Author:Dr. Peter H. Kim, PhD
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Flatiron Books

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All these considerations ultimately help explain why we gravitate so readily toward retribution. Even if most of us would like to believe we are fair and consistent, the evidence suggests that we are ultimately quite inconsistent in how we make judgments of others as compared to ourselves. We believe that others would have less moral standing than we would hold after the same set of actions. Moreover, we are far likelier to discount the signals of repentance others might convey than the repentance we might personally experience. This puts others at more of a deficit in their moral bank accounts, from which they might seek to repair trust, and creates more of an uphill battle in which punishment may be considered the only means through which we can feel like they have experienced sufficient remorse.

It is no wonder then that Father Greg’s efforts, from the start of this chapter, to reintegrate former gang members into society are so important or why the criminal defense lawyer Bryan Stevenson takes such pains to stress in his bestselling book Just Mercy that “each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”32 My findings suggest that in the eyes of others, we are often not more than that worst thing. The results highlight how readily observers can take that worst thing as the truest sign of one’s character, use that moment to reconsider anything else about the offender that might have been good, and punish that person far more harshly as a result. This is a fundamental problem with how we make moral judgments. And until we address it, we will continue to preclude a realistic path toward redemption for those who might deserve a second chance.

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