How To Manage Conflict in the Organization by Gregg Lee Carter & Joseph F. Byrnes

Author:Gregg Lee Carter & Joseph F. Byrnes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AMACOM Books
Published: 2006-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Some managers may not feel comfortable coaching employees. They think it places them in the role of therapist—a role they feel ill-equipped to play. Or they simply prefer the direct approach and a massive use of their authority: “Change, or else!” As we have already pointed out in this chapter, and as we do so many other places in this course, such a mind-set is becoming more and more out of step with the cultures of most contemporary work organizations, which increasingly emphasize equality, equity, and employee input in maintaining and improving company operations.

Indeed, it is our experience that the number one way in which organizations can avoid the kind of costly litigation and the more expensive forms of ADR (alternative dispute resolution) discussed in Chapter 1 is to encourage their managers and team leaders to treat their coworkers and subordinates with respect—to be tough on logic, to be tough on data, but to be soft on people (a bedrock idea underlying coaching as well as the principled negotiation approach to conflict resolution emphasized throughout this course). We have found that by following the guidelines in Tools 4–2, 4–3, and 4–4, most managers can become skillful at coaching, and that most organizations will fare better when their managers make it a common alternative in resolving interpersonal conflict.

Consider the following coaching session between Carol Freedman and her abrasive production supervisor, Jorge Lopez. Pay attention both to what Carol says and to how she says it:

JORGE: I don’t know why you want to talk to me. The problem’s Chuck Simmons. Sometimes I think he’s in perpetual slow motion.

CAROL: (Maintaining eye contact) Jorge, do you really think that Chuck’s the whole problem?

JORGE: No, of course not. I know I fly off the handle sometimes. He can be so aggravating and I’m an impatient guy. I can’t stand waiting around for anybody.

CAROL: (Friendly, empathetic tone) Jorge, I know you don’t want to fight with Chuck all the time. So what can you do to minimize the conflict?

JORGE: Leave the department whenever Chuck’s around—that’s what I can do. I can’t yell at him if I’m not there.

CAROL: (Raising the pitch of her voice) That’s an idea. Do you think it would really work?

JORGE: Probably. I’m certain I waste even more of my time by arguing with Chuck. And I’m convinced he slows down to spite me when I get mad. If I’m not there, Chuck and his guys would take less time, and my blood pressure would stay normal.

CAROL: (Maintaining eye contact; friendly, empathetic tone; raising the pitch of her voice) Well, would you like to give it a try? Get out of the department whenever the maintenance people show up?

JORGE: I can’t do it all the time. But I can try it and see if it works. It certainly couldn’t make the situation any worse.

A careful examination of Carol Freedman’s part of the dialogue reveals that she followed Nierenberg and Ross recommendations by using a subtle approach. Most of the time she asked questions. This enabled Jorge Lopez to crystallize his thoughts.

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