How to Change Minds: The Art of Influence without Manipulation (BK Business) by Robert L. Jolles

Author:Robert L. Jolles [Jolles, Robert L.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Published: 2013-06-02T14:00:00+00:00

Those words were my reminder that we ask questions, listen, and let those we are communicating with paint their own picture. We work meticulously to allow the people we are communicating with to own the conversation we are having. It’s not about us; it’s about them. If we do this, when we get to the solution, we get to use the words “you said.”

The solutions we bring to the table are not coming from left field, and just in case the person sitting across from us needs a reminder, there’s nothing like saying, “Another reason I’m making this recommendation is that you said you were looking for a simple way to accomplish this goal. Let me tell you exactly how simple this is.”

The words “you said” have an amazing way of putting someone right back into the conversation. These words act as a reminder that the solution isn’t for you; it’s for her. Think for a moment the last time someone was talking to you and you heard the words “you said” inserted into the conversation. Assuming you did say it, that person sure got your attention!

At this point we’ve done an amazing job gaining a commitment to change, and offering a solution that addresses someone’s specific needs, but it’s not time to celebrate just yet. I’ve spent thirty years of my life watching this story unfold, and guess what can often happen next? Nothing. And the reason nothing often happens is that, although we’ve gained a commitment to change, and shown a logical solution, we never really close the deal. Well, let’s fix that right now!

The whole concept of asking for a true commitment from another brings with it many misunderstandings. The confusion runs deeps within industries that have dedicated personnel obsessed with selling and gaining commitment. I believe many, including me early on in my own career, are sometimes a little reluctant to challenge the old conventional methods of gaining commitment. So let’s start by offering a few facts and some rather strong opinions that should do away with some of these ridiculous old myths.

Myth 1. The more you ask someone to commit to a change, the greater your chances of success.

Interesting statement. So much has been written about the theory “more is better,” when it comes to gaining a commitment. It’s been said by many that the more you do this, the greater your chance of gaining that commitment. Sales teams for decades have preached “Always be closing” as a kind symbolic mantra. I have one small issue with this theory: It could not be further from the truth.

I suppose there was a time, when orange leisure suits roamed the earth, that this approach to gaining commitment might have worked. But if by chance it ever worked back then, it sure doesn’t work now. In fact, I believe constantly asking someone for a commitment can backfire.

One of my favorite studies, conducted by Xerox, took dead aim at this particular myth. The study found that when someone was

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.