How to Be Love(d) by Humble the Poet

Author:Humble the Poet [Humble the Poet]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2022-10-11T00:00:00+00:00

34.

LOVE IS SHOWING YOUR TEETH

As a student teacher, I remember sitting in the vice principal’s office. I had been working in the school for six months at this point, and my only goal was to get noticed so I could land a job, or at least a letter of reference. The vice principal had agreed to see me, and the point of the conversation was to gain insight about what I should do after I graduated, but also to get on his good side in case any jobs opened up at the school.

As I sat quietly, he explained to me the challenges of being a teacher, the fact that it’s the only white-collar job where people can come to your work and yell at you, referring to the parents. He talked about the uphill battle of trying to educate in a world where politicians decided funding and policy.

I nodded and smiled. I wasn’t too versed in politics back then, and my only real goal was to stay on his good side, and maybe say something that would make me stand out among the other student teachers at the school.

Then he said, “And now they’re trying to make us teach the kids that it’s okay to be homosexual, and that marriage can happen between two men. Well, not at my school!”

I was caught off-guard by his prehistoric comment, but I continued to nod and smile, while inside I felt like a part of my soul was coming loose.

When I got home, I felt like shit, a fraud, and I resented both that vice principal and myself.

That wasn’t the only time I let something like that happen. If anything, that moment highlighted how often I chose being liked over being myself.

I’ve shrugged off racist comments, laughed at sexist jokes, and allowed myself to be the butt of jokes, all so I could be accepted, and I know I’m not the only one.

We’re all guilty of compromising parts of ourselves so others will like and accept us. There’s a part of us that wants to stand up for us, but we’re afraid it’s impolite and unlikeable, and we’re right, it is, but that doesn’t make it any less important.

Sometimes we think being harmless and not rocking the boat is what makes us a good person, but really that leads to more of these unpleasant situations, and when we don’t handle them the way we should, resentment grows. That resentment feeds an ugliness within us and further closes any flows of love we have in our life.

We can always go home and rehearse what we should have said—a tactful way to ensure we’re not used as a doormat or choose to be liked over being ourselves. But at the moment we’re caught off-guard and since we only think about it after the fact, we’ll continually be caught off-guard.

Bullying is when others impose their power upon you, and that’s exactly what these situations are. We allow ourselves to be pushovers in the name of being accepted, not realizing that we’re only accepted as a pushover.

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