Gwyneth Jones - Life(2005) by Anonymous Author

Author:Anonymous Author
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Epingsoft
Published: 2011-02-01T05:00:00+00:00

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The moratorium a big success, though it was hard to accept the halt and check when it had been so important, in the beginning, that she didn't have to hold back. This was an experience they had completely missed: deferred gratification, teenagers necking and groping and pulling away, saying to each other no, no we mustn't! Anna found that she loved being allowed to tease, to do things that she'd reckoned forbidden for as long as she'd been sexually conscious: to swank about in a state of undress, take up provocative poses, bestow hot kisses and glances, all without the slightest intention of letting him have his way. Utterly arousing to come close enough to brush her nipples across his lips, as he lay gazing at one of her performances, and then dart out of reach. To remove his hand from the waistband of her pants when they were kissing, the more arousing, the more effort it was to say no. She liked it a lot less when he did the same things to her. . . But you had to accept the rules or the game was no fun.

Through the working days at Parentis her thoughts kept returning lustfully to Nasser apartments. She forgot to rehearse her worries and didn't stay late even if Suri was free. It made a pleasant change and was a good sign that progress on Transferred Y was in a satisfactory state, not giving her much anxiety. Yet the intensity of her reaction to that other idea nagged at her. She hadn't forgotten that he said I want to find out if sex is all we've got. It could be Spence had not meant much by this, he was given to extravagant statements that Anna often took too seriously. But whether or not he'd meant to do it, he had started something. He had made her realize that something in her positively fought against falling in love. She would give her dear companion any amount of sex, affection, trust, friendship, and loyalty, but not that self-surrender. She'd rather have a crush on a stranger. In fact, tell the truth, she'd rather be in love with anyone else in the world than with her husband.

I don't want to be dependent in that way, on someone who is so important. I don't want my heart to leap when he comes into the room, I don't want to lead conversations around so that I can hear people speaking his name. None of that stuff. No chance. It's not safe.

This moratorium is a Trojan horse.

Ten days of their month had passed, and she was in the toilet at work, rinsing out her cap. It was the wash 'n go kind, meant for constant wear. Anna habitually used it not only as a contraceptive but also in place of tampons, to reduce the burden on the Nasser apartments landfill and the South China Sea. The splash of blood, whirling away. . . Since Lily Rose, that first stain of red on her underwear always made her spirits plunge.

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