Gone Too Far_Britain's Most Hated Celebrity Has Disappeared by Steven Suttie

Author:Steven Suttie [Suttie, Steven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-04-28T04:00:00+00:00

*****

Kathy Hopkirk had spent several hours with Janet, learning about her tragic back-story. Over the course of two-weeks, Janet had poured her heart out via e-mail, phone conversations and face-to-face chats at Sally King’s office. And now, in the third meeting that had been arranged at the prestigious Covent Garden offices of Kathy’s manager, Janet was prepared to reveal the reason that she had shared all of this private, personal trauma baggage with a complete stranger.

It hadn’t all been depressing. For the most-part, Janet and Kathy had had a laugh, and talked about other stuff, like how freaky it is that Facebook has started showing you adverts for things that you’ve looked for on Google.

“Honestly, I can’t believe how lovely you have been to me! Its as though they’re talking about a different person when they talk about you in the papers,” said Janet, as the two sat in Sally King’s spare office and talked over a skinny mocha frappucino in Kathy’s case, and a tea, two-sugars in Janet’s.

“Oh, there could be no Super-Bitch career if people thought that I was nice really. It wouldn’t work.”

“No, I guess not. But I had no idea…”

“People who know me genuinely help me to remain successful by ignoring the nasty stuff, and keeping quiet. It’s all a big con, there’s loads of us out there. Simon Cowell is a great example. He doesn’t know anything about music… so he gets five million TV viewers to tell him which singer to hire.”

“Yeah, God, I suppose you’re right. When you strip it back like that…”

“Besides, it’s not a total secret. Most of the journalists already know I’m not totally subhuman really. They know it’s just an act, a stage persona. But I need to make a bit more money before I can retire, so let’s hope nobody finds out that I’m okay really!”

Janet laughed loudly, and it was a really joyful, squeaky sound, that came right from the belly, which made Kathy laugh too.

“Anyway, I’ve got a plan. Don’t tell anybody, right – but I am going to retire one day, by completely disappearing.”

Janet laughed, but then stopped laughing when she saw that Kathy was being deadly serious.

“You can’t tell anybody though. Swear to God.”

“What, why… I’m surprised that you’re telling me this…” Janet was stunned that Kathy Hopkirk, one of the most famous, most unpopular people in the UK, was sharing such a private, bizarre conversation with somebody that she barely knew.

“Well come on Janet, if I can’t trust you, someone who’s just told me every private, painful detail of your life story, then I can’t trust anybody, can I?”

“Yes, I suppose. So what are you going to do?”

“Well, I’m going to whip up the hatred to level ten…”

Janet threw her head back, and another huge roar of infectious laughter filled the room. “So what level is it now, just out of curiosity?” asked Janet once she’d simmered down a bit.

“It’s only level six, six and a half. But I’ll get it up to level ten no trouble…”

“And disappear?”

“Yes.

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