God, Where Are You? by Benjamin Kisoni

Author:Benjamin Kisoni [Kisoni, Benjamin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780310499336
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2012-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

7

TRAGEDY

It was eleven o’clock in the morning of July 5, 2007. The clouds had cleared but the air was still filled with the dust of the dry season. It spread across the city, and brown dust devils danced with every breeze.

On my way to work, I had dropped in at the office of my younger brother, Sem, to discuss some family matters. The office was located downtown near a busy street, but was hidden behind a brick wall topped with barbed wire. We talked for about fifteen minutes, and the whole time, I could not take my eyes off him. His face beamed with such serenity that I felt very drawn to him. I had never felt this way before.

Some fifteen minutes later, I was settling down at my desk when a watchman came panting in: “Quick – get to Sem’s office. Some thugs came in and shot him. He’s wounded.”

I couldn’t believe it. I ran all the way to his office. I had to force my way through the excited crowd that had formed outside and inside the compound. My heart was pounding and I was breathing hard.

At last, I reached Sem’s office. He was lying on the floor in a pool of blood. I had thought he was only wounded and was ready to rush him to hospital, but when I touched him, he did not move. I went weak at the knees and leaned on a table, afraid that I would faint. Just fifteen minutes earlier I had been talking to him. And now …

I found it difficult to believe that he was truly dead. I stared intently, hoping to see the slightest twitch of a muscle or the smallest breath. But there was nothing.

I was totally unprepared for such a tragedy. None of my nine siblings – two boys and seven girls – had died. Now Sem, the brother closest in age to me, had been murdered! I would have to take charge. Four of my older sisters lived far away. My parents were ageing, and my mother had already needed medical care. What would I say to my younger sisters, living in the city? How would I bear their grief?

I seemed to hear a voice inside me asking, “If you lose heart, who will take over?” But where could I find the strength I would need? Still confused, I muttered a brief prayer of surrender, “Lord, I can’t cope! Please help me.”

As the hours passed, I became aware of an extraordinary strength within me. I found myself organizing the funeral. I handled a flood of telephone calls from people calling to express their condolences. But nothing changed the fundamental problem. It all felt like a really bad dream. I kept turning over the same questions in my mind. Who were the murderers and what were their motives? How did they manage to escape unnoticed by all the guards and watchmen in the vicinity? Were they all accomplices in the murder? Round and round went the questions in my brain.

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