Get Your Spark Back by Rachel Marie Martin

Author:Rachel Marie Martin [Martin, Rachel Marie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781962435055
Publisher: Dexterity
Published: 2024-08-14T22:00:00+00:00

REFRAME YOUR FEARS

On that first worry-filled morning at CrossFit, Dan, who was also a beginner, heard my giant list of reasons why I shouldn’t go through the gym doors. But he didn’t indulge my fears. He listened, then asked, “Are you ready to go in?” At times, voicing worries in a safe space can help to diffuse the intensity of the worry. If you don’t have a friend to talk to, just speak them out loud to yourself or write them down. When you hear the worry, often you can rebut your own fear.

For reference, here is a short list of my first-morning worries:

The other people will see me mess up.

They’re going to judge me.

I shouldn’t have worn these shoes.

What if I throw up?

What if the other people talk about me?

How do I put the weights on/off?

How do I get my body to do that?

What if I can’t finish?

If I had let those worries win, I might not be able to proudly wear my CFMC shirt. Instead of sinking into the fears, I reframed them. When you reframe a limit or belief, you are pulling out the presupposition you believe to be true and replacing it with the actual truth. A reframe is nonemotional and logically based and can disempower fears that might linger.

The simplest way to create a reframe is to ask a question regarding a presupposition or assumption in the original statement or question. For example, if I said, “Bethany lost her keys again,” the presupposition might be that Bethany loses her keys regularly. I’d likely assume that Bethany chronically loses her keys, but it just as easily could be that this is only the second time she’s lost them. The best thing I could do is ask questions. Assumptions can lead you down a road that isn’t true, which is why asking the clarifying questions is critical.

Here’s the same first-day worry list with the reframe questions:

The other people will see me mess up.

—Why do you assume you’ll mess up? Why do you assume others will be watching you?

They’re going to judge me.

—Why do you assume they are the judging type? Why do you care if they judge?

I shouldn’t have worn these shoes.

—How could you have known what shoes to wear?

What if I throw up?

—Can you survive throwing up? Why do you think you might throw up?

What if the other people talk about me?

—Again, why are you assuming they’ll talk about you instead of encouraging you?

How do I put the weights on/off?

—Do you think you won’t be able to figure it out? What if someone offers to help you?

How do I get my body to do that?

—Isn’t that why you’re here? Why do you think you have to be perfect at this the first time?

What if I can’t finish?

—What if you can finish? What would happen if you didn’t finish?

Now, let’s take it one step further—the same initial questions, the reframe questions, and then the worry reframed.

The other people will see me mess up.

—Why do you assume you’ll mess up? Why do you assume others will be watching you?

•I will do my best and be supported.

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