Get Lost, Odysseus! by Kate McMullan

Author:Kate McMullan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: 9781434260161, 9781434291943, 9781434291936, fiction, Stone Arch Books, Myth-O-Mania, legends, myths, fables/Greek & Roman, humorous stories, action & adventure/general
Publisher: Stone Arch Books
Published: 2014-04-25T04:00:00+00:00

With Calypso’s steady wind blowing, I didn’t feel one bit seasick as Odysseus steered his ship straight for his own beloved island. That mortal had been in Troy for ten years. And it had taken him almost that long to get this close to his home. No way was I going anywhere until he stepped onto dry land in Ithaca.

As we approached the hilly island, I heard a shrill shrieking sound. I turned to see what it was, and I couldn’t believe my godly eyes. It was Po! His mutant seahorses were bouncing his sea chariot over the waves at a tremendous speed. Any minute, he’d catch up with Odysseus’s ship!

ZZZZZZZZZZZIP!

I landed in the speeding sea chariot with a whiplash-inducing jolt.

FOOP!

“Po, it’s been a while!” I shouted over the screeching seahorses. “How was Ethiopia?”

“Don’t try to distract me, Hades!” Po shouted back. “I know you’ve been helping Odysseus. I’m here to deal with him once and for all.” He shot me a dirty look. “And when I’m done with him, it’s your turn! Your kingdom is gonna be Floodsville!”

“Bro, I haven’t helped Odysseus!” I yelled as dark clouds began to gather overhead. “I’ve kept track of him, yes. But I haven’t helped him. No way. I swore to you I wouldn’t, and I’ve kept my word.”

Maybe in a court of law he could get me on technicalities, but I spoke the truth.

“Mold, Hades!” Po shouted. “Black mold seeping out from under your throne. Brown mold creeping over that recliner you lounge around in watching those wrestling matches. Persephone is going to pack her bags and move back up to earth for good!”

The winds picked up. They howled and swirled every which way, rocking the sea chariot like a bucking bronco. My stomach lurched.

“Enough vengeance, Po!” I shouted. I was going to be sick. I kept talking, hoping the feeling would pass. “Odysseus has been at sea for years, trying to get home. He’s lost all his ships, all his men. He’s got nothing!”

“And now?” cried Po. “He’s about to become fish food!”

The winds raged with hurricane force. Through the spray, I saw Odysseus’s ship tilt crazily to the side. A huge wave crashed onto the sail, pulling the ship down. The mast cracked as it hit the water, and Odysseus was blown overboard.

“That’s the end of him, Hades!” Po shouted. “Good riddance!” He pulled on his reins, turning his team away from the shipwreck, and sped off.

I jammed on my Helmet — POOF! — and went into Hover Mode. Was my bro right? After all Odysseus had been through, was he going to end up on the bottom of the ocean just off the coast of Ithaca?

Po’s storm wasn’t letting up. I searched the sea for Odysseus, but he was nowhere to be found. All the heavy, gold-trimmed clothing that Calypso had given him must have sunk him fast.

I sighed. Penelope would never know how close her husband had been to coming home. Telemachus would search forever and never find his father.

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