Garden of Desires by Emily Dubberley

Author:Emily Dubberley
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780753549810
Publisher: Ebury Publishing

Perform for Me

While it’s long been accepted that many men find the idea of seeing two women engaged in sexual acts arousing, the idea that women might find man-on-man sex play arousing is much more taboo. However, many women – including lesbians – fantasise about seeing men engaged in gay sex, sometimes with dominant themes: the woman enjoys watching one man force another to perform oral sex. Other women simply fantasise about enjoying the spectacle of two male bodies together.

Samantha, 47, single mother of four, biker chick

‘I was about 25 years old when I started having fantasies – I watched a porn movie and it went from there. My fantasy is mainly about watching homosexual sex. It is more so the energy and animalistic passion rather than the act itself. I can have hetersosexual as well, and lesbian fantasies. My favourite fantasy involves three men having sex – spit roast – the giver is new to anal sex and he is on a high as it is such a tight sensation. The more he gets aroused the more the other guys get aroused and it gets more and more heated.’

Teri, 26, pansexual, single, works in publishing

‘Two gay males.’

Anon, 23, cis, English, feminist, fangirl

‘The one consistent thing about my fantasies is that they have almost always been in the third person. I rarely fantasise about myself having sex, although I have done slightly more so since my late teens/early twenties. Most recently, I featured characters from the History Channel-scripted drama Vikings. Specifically I fantasised about the monk Athelstan, who has been taken as a slave by a Viking called Ragnar Lothbrok, having sexualised feelings of submission towards Ragnar and struggling to reconcile those feelings with how he thinks he should be feeling. I enjoy the eroticisation of guilt and inner turmoil.’

Jess, 30, queer/bisexual, white, mental health issues, cis female, in a long-term partnership, no children

‘I had primarily heterosexual fantasies for a long time, despite being a lesbian, and these days it’s more homosexual men. What hasn’t changed is that I’m almost always outside of the action (so to speak), and that I tend to think about scenes of extreme receptivity, one partner consuming the other or others.

My most recent fantasy was a blow job scene between two men, where they traded off control over the blow job, one holding the other’s head, then the other pinning his hands to the bed. My favourite fantasy is – oh god, this one’s embarrassing – a grey, amorphous, devouring entity. I feel like a very odd duck when I think about that one.

I love how much my fantasies are based on consuming, because I think that’s different, and I like that I think about sex in a strange way. I think it’s very yonic of me, if I can be that ridiculous. I don’t like that a lot of them involve an element of rape fantasy or dominance – it feels like I’m subjugating myself. I sometimes think that I ought to work on making my fantasies more diverse, or less injurious to myself/my identity, but it’s difficult.

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