Gamble: Dirty Sinners by Elyse Kelly

Author:Elyse Kelly [Kelly, Elyse]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-09-08T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

Dove

I genuinely don’t think I could hate myself any more than I do right now. And that’s saying something.

I feel numb as I walk away from Gamble. He’s done absolutely nothing wrong, nothing at all. If I’m being honest, he’s been a perfect gentleman and I have no idea why I’m pushing him away.

Well… That’s a lie.

Ever since that night in college, when everything went to hell and I was abandoned by everyone I thought I could trust, I haven’t been able to let anyone in. God, I want to let Gamble in, but it feels like someone is physically cracking open my heart. The idea of allowing him to be with me, despite my past trauma, makes me tingle with excitement. And the memories of the mind-blowing sex we’ve had are enough to keep me gratified for years. And yet…

I’m pained by the thought of him getting close to me, because if he were to hurt me in any way, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t handle the heartache and rejection that would live in my head forever, making me wonder on a daily basis what I did wrong or what I could have done differently.

But if I were to let him in, there is the possibility I could have everything I ever wanted.

I try to push the thoughts to the back of my mind as I get on stage to dance. I exhale loudly, unhappy that my small break is over. I know that Gamble is out there watching, somewhere, but I try not to think about that. My first song comes on, and I lose myself in the sway and movements of my hips—the rhythmic beat is all I need right now.

Before I know it, I’m dancing. Men are whistling at me and throwing bills onto the stage. I’m staring out, beyond the crowd, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. This is how I make it through my sets, just me and the music. I hate looking at the pervs in the front row, despite the fact that most of them would fork over their retirement plans to have one night with me. I don’t know what possesses me to break from the norm, but tonight I do. And it’s a huge mistake.

My eyes land on him. Holt fucking McKamey.

Despite my initial shock, I keep dancing. My body goes on autopilot, but my heart is racing inside my chest. I can barely breathe as that night comes flashing back in my mind.

And here he is with his friends. Some of whom were there that night, cheering him on, texting pictures and videos... They’re in their football team jackets, for the love of God. So fucking pathetic. Could they go anywhere without showing off the fact that they played college ball?

I try not to look at them, but like a train wreck, I can’t take my eyes off the carnage. They’re sitting there—as if they aren’t the bastards I know them to be—in a VIP reserved section; they must be having a party.

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