Future Skills by Perttu Pölönen

Author:Perttu Pölönen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Future Skills
ISBN: 9781632281319
Publisher: Viva Editions
Published: 2021-09-15T00:00:00+00:00

YOU DON’T HAVE TO INTERPRET HONEST PEOPLE

I’ve made some rash New Year’s resolutions over the past few years. In 2017, I committed to putting myself outside my comfort zone more often. If I had doubts about trying something, I definitely had to do it. In 2018, I actively strove to become a better listener. In 2019, I tried to improve my situational awareness and be cognizant of the mood during any given situation or event. For example, I wanted to understand the energy in a room when I entered it. I believe that a person who is able to recognize the prevailing mood and turn it toward one where other people feel comfortable will be sought-after company.

My 2017 resolution put me into many situations I never would have experienced otherwise. In the summer, I went to Los Angeles on my own and lived there for nearly three months. One August afternoon, I was lying on the beach in Santa Monica scrolling Facebook and happened across an event that caught my attention. Radical Honesty. The event was near where I was, and it was due to start in a little over half an hour, so I didn’t have time to hesitate. It would be a new experience, and that was what I was looking for, so I jumped on my bike and started pedaling.

After making it just in time, I stepped into a room where eight people were just sitting down in chairs arranged in a circle. I greeted the organizer and chose my seat in the circle. The group was colorful, to say the least. I couldn’t help thinking of the AA meetings I’d seen in American movies, because the setup was remarkably similar. I said my name and how I had ended up there. I learned that radical honesty is a philosophy founded by a certain psychologist, and that there were meetings and trainings being held all over the place all the time. This wasn’t just a onetime event.

As a group, we started talking about what honesty meant to each of us. The members of the group believed that we should be radically honest in everything we do and say. Often, we edit or embellish events depending on who we’re talking to. We make little concessions to the story because we’re thinking of what’s best for the other person and don’t want to be brutally honest. We try to shield people from being offended, and we think we’re doing them a favor.

However, there is a dilemma here. What does it say about us that we don’t tell the whole truth, but instead our own version or interpretation? Doesn’t that mean we think the other person is incapable of handling the truth? This observation made me think: Is honesty so hard for us that we have to sell our own interpretation to other people? What prevents us from telling the whole truth? Honesty has caused many conflicts, but still. Would radical honesty be fairer? It felt silly that I had come all the way to California to learn this very Finnish skill of speaking directly.

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