Fragile by Sarah Hilary

Author:Sarah Hilary
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan UK

22

‘It’s fortunate I was in, since for whatever reason you weren’t here to answer the door.’

‘It’s my day off.’

‘Really?’ Carolyn laughed. ‘I didn’t know you had those.’ She stood at the kitchen doorway, as if guarding it. The light was behind her, all the betraying softness gone, leaving clean expensive lines of the kind I could never afford. Her dark red dress suited her, better than the black. She raised her eyebrows. ‘What did you do?’

‘Do . . . ?’ I wet my lips.

She knew about our breakfast. My new happiness – was it written on my face, the way money was on hers? Or was she talking about something worse, from long ago? What had she heard?

‘With your day off. What did you do with it?’

‘I walked.’

Her eyes went to my shoes, then to my coat as if she could see the moth holes in its lining. She saw the flush in my cheeks, and the dampness in my eyes. I couldn’t hide from her scrutiny. My stomach clenched, cold sweat stabbing at the back of my neck. All I could think was, I have no cousin.

‘You’ve kept us waiting.’ She swung the door wide with the flat of her hand. ‘Luckily I was here to make tea, after such a long journey.’ Her words made no sense, nor did the way she stood wide-armed, inviting me into the kitchen, where the bronze lamp was lit.

New shadows spilled on the floor. I was afraid to step inside, afraid of what I’d find.

Carolyn’s face was masked by a smile, as if my fear thrilled her.

At the table, hands folded on the scrubbed surface, a cup of tea at his elbow—

‘Joe.’

‘Hello, Nell.’ He smiled up at me, sleepily.

His fringe had grown long in the weeks since I’d seen him last, full of straw highlights. He wore a plaid shirt, faded pink and green, its cuffs fraying at his wrists. He’d brought the sun’s scent in here. I wanted to touch his face, to be sure it was real. To be sure it was Joe.

I had to walk past Carolyn, to reach the table. For a second we were so close, a thread of static touched our cheeks. I lifted a hand to rub at its sharp, fleeting kiss.

Joe sat forward under the bowl of light. He’d taken all the studs and rings from his ears, naked without the piercings. It took me a second to see the tension in his shoulders, the warning behind his smile. But I’d smelt her before I saw her – iron slicing through the summer’s sweetness like a scythe through a field of corn.

‘Your cousin, Joe.’ Carolyn spoke the words through her teeth. ‘And your aunt, of course.’

At the foot of the table, hidden until I took two final steps forward. Grey hair at her temples, black coat buttoned to her neck.

Meagan Flack.

‘Hello, love.’ Her face cracked in a grin. ‘Hello, our Nell.’ Robin’s rota was at her elbow, its pages open. ‘This’s nice.’ Her eyes winked wetly at me.

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