Fractured by Mickie B. Ashling

Author:Mickie B. Ashling [Ashling, Mickie B.]
Language: eng
Format: epub

Chapter 17

“HAVE YOU ever heard of Doogie Howser?”

“Wasn’t that a TV show?” Ro asked. They were still on the sofa but had separated to look at each other while they talked. Lance seemed to have recovered from his fainting spell, but Ro worried that the conversation they were about to have would trigger something. This way he could act before things began to spiral downward again.

“Yeah,” Lance said. “It was about a young genius trying to make his way in an adult world while coping with growing up. It’s not that easy, you know, especially when you’re gay.”

“I would think it would make things easier, not harder.”

“Not true. People in authority expected me to react to situations like an adult because I was intellectually above my peers. Emotionally, though, I was still a confused kid desperate for acceptance. My classmates began to look at me like I was some sort of nerdy freak, and I retreated emotionally. I didn’t dare add to their overall assessment by announcing I was gay.”

“Didn’t you have anyone you could talk to?”

“When you’re being accelerated, it’s hard to maintain friendships. Kids my age were two grades behind, and the ones sitting beside me were intimidated; I kept showing them up, and they were resentful that I dared.”

“What about your parents?”

“They were aware of my orientation but refused to discuss the implications. My parents were sure I’d lose interest once the challenge was gone.”

“What challenge?”

“Learning how to become the best gay man I could possibly be. I never did anything half-assed. Whenever I decided to learn about something, be it math, dentistry, or even something as ordinary as playing cards, I’d sink my teeth into the project until I mastered it. I knew I was more attracted to men than women, but I couldn’t go to clubs because I was underage, and the chat rooms got old. Boys in school wanted nothing to do with me, and I got sick of masturbating. I wanted to experience it firsthand.”

“What did you end up doing?”

“I paid a lot more attention to our pool guy.”

“Ah hah… he was Latino?”

“Manny had crossed the border somewhere in Texas and could barely speak English. I had to learn Spanish so we could communicate.”

“He was your first?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How long did it last?”

“All summer,” Lance said wistfully. “It ended when I left for college.”

“How old were you?”

“Barely sixteen.”

“And your Tex-Mex?”

“He was twenty-seven.”

“I’m surprised your parents didn’t have him arrested.”

“They were clueless.”

“So, aside from Spanish, what did Manny teach you?”

“Everything there was to know about gay sex.”

“Sixteen is really young to be in college,” Ro commented.

“I stood out.”

“Did you ever see him again?”

Lance shook his head. “The next guy was from Costa Rica. He was younger than Manny but just as eager to experiment. By then I’d had a couple of encounters in school, so I wasn’t as innocent. We had a blast that summer, and I became even more fluent in your language.”

“Still no boyfriend?”

“No. I had a thing for Latinos, obviously, and the few who were around the campus were straight.

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