Flip! by Alma Leigh Mohr

Author:Alma Leigh Mohr
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2019-11-27T16:40:19+00:00

Chapter Six

Accountability

Let’s talk about what it means to be accountable. Why do so many people have a hard time accepting blame when they make an error? Do you have a hard time accepting blame? I know I do. In fact, while conducting research and writing this book, I was pushing this chapter off into a far corner of my mind simply because my subconscious did not want to deal with my need to be accountable. Nobody wants to be at fault. It sucks to be wrong. It makes us feel small and less worthy as human beings. When we admit fault, we somehow feel as though we are opening to the judgments of others and in truth we are, technically. Fortunately, for us, when we screw up, the judgment of others is irrelevant to our own healing. It does not matter that other people revel in our errors. This is a fear-based behavior on their part and is something for them to work through. It is a projection of their own need to protect their veneer. What is important to our own healing is that we are able to identify the thinking errors in other people. While it still happens, it is entirely egocentric (natural selfishness based in human development theory attributed to the behaviors of small children) to allow the judgments of other people to negatively affect us. Granted, this is easier said than done, but we must start somewhere and knowing what this behavior is when it manifests in our world will provide us with the ability to distinguish our healing and growth from other people’s negative projections towards us. Wouldn’t it be ideal to not actually care when other people seek to injure us with their negative judgment? It’s nice to think that when other people find flaws in us that it is merely a projection of their own need to protect themselves and nothing more, even if the assertion is accurate.

Fear of being judged is a roadblock to accountability. Acceptance of deserved judgment is part of the accountability process.

Imagine you are in a hurry to get to work. As you pull into the parking lot you accidentally ding the passenger side door of your co-worker’s brand-new minivan. This co-worker already doesn’t like you, so this will not be an easy fix. You go inside your building and you locate your co-worker and you tell her you’ve just dinged her minivan. She leaps from her chair and rushes outside to survey the damage. You’re already feeling she’s being overly dramatic and are feeling regret for even pointing out the damage to her. You could have just parked somewhere else and not said anything. No big deal, right? No one else would know. Only you. You would know. You would know, and at a subconscious level, you wouldn’t appreciate it if someone dinged your car and then didn’t tell you about it. She sees the damage and snarls at you, “I suppose you’ve got insurance to fix this?” “My deductible is more than what it would cost to fix the damage.

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