Five-Minute Relationship Repair by Susan Campbell PhD & John Grey PhD

Author:Susan Campbell, PhD & John Grey, PhD
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library

Safety Statement to Your Partner

After you have done the exercises in chapter 8 and finished the exercise above, it is powerful to share what you’ve learned with your partner using the Safety Statement script below. On a separate sheet of paper, or using the exercise in the online workbook’s “Safety Statement to Your Partner” section, complete the following sentences using the information you’ve already identified above.

“I want to heal our reactive cycle. When we’re in it, I probably trigger you when I _________________________ [insert your reactive behavior].

“I realize this scares you into thinking _______________ [insert your partner’s reactive story].

“I want to disclose what is really happening in me when I do this. No matter what it looks like to you, deep down inside I’m feeling afraid that _____________________ [insert your core fears].

“What I need more than anything is to feel _________ [insert your core needs].

“It is not my intention to scare you, upset you, or have you feel unsafe with me. If I were not in a triggered state, I would tell you my needs and my fears instead of going on automatic. I want us to learn to pause whenever we are triggered.

“So, could we pause and help each other calm down instead of continuing to react? And, would you be willing to learn with me how to repair the damage that results from our reactive cycle?”

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