Fifty Shades Of Sparkling Vampires With Dragon Tattoos That Play Starvation Games by Lacy Maran

Author:Lacy Maran
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: humor, paranormal romance, satire, paranormal, romance, spoof, parody

How To Be More Attractive To Men

By John Doe

Have big knockers.

How To Be More Attractive To Women

By Jane Doe

Be rich, confident, sexy, hunky, compassionate, caring, attentive, kind, charitable, intelligent, interesting, honest, dashing, chivalrous...oh, and do the dishes for God's sake.

Profound Poetry

Damn it's hard being this deep

But think of all the prizes my thoughts will reap

Sometimes I give myself a headache from pondering all the time

But how many people can get existential on a dime?

I'm starting to think humanity has no hope

Society is so filthy I'm constantly reaching for the soap

But although I may complain today

Maybe optimism will come to play

Being too intelligent is one hell of cross to bare

Though with my profundity a lot of chicks I can snare

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