Enough by Kimia Eslah

Author:Kimia Eslah
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fiction;LGBTQ2S+;structural discrmination;sexism;storytelling
Publisher: Fernwood Publishing
Published: 2023-09-23T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

Early Monday Morning, June 25, 2018

On Monday morning, Goldie woke up to the vibrations and melody of her 7:00 a.m. alarm. She could not remember falling asleep Sunday night but it had clearly happened, even if it happened after hours of tossing and turning in bed. The tension in her jaw told her that she’d been grinding her teeth. I could call in sick.

She ground her face into her pillow, wishing to go back in time. She wanted to go back to early Friday. She’d been so happy after her presentation to the directors. She had felt confident and optimistic about the future. Then, I fucked it all up with one call to Patricia. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

All weekend, Goldie had studied the last few text messages she had exchanged with Patricia, telling no one about her freak-out at work — not her mother with whom she spent most of Saturday shopping, not Issa who met her in the food court afterward, and not her father who took her to the grocery store on Sunday morning. She’d just sneak away to re-read the messages and fret about how to talk to Patricia come Monday morning. I sound paranoid … about a sticky note. I sound stupid.

She analyzed Patricia’s messages — her word choice and the time lapse between replies — and reassured herself that Patricia had not registered her meltdown. Then, she recalled bits of her conversation with Sameera, and she became mortified at having involved someone else. I got carried away … she’s Persian, Iranian, whatever, and she was wearing super white Air Force Ones. I shared some stuff but I was just worked up. The woman is obviously … like, sensitive. Well, fuck going to the tenth floor. Add her to the avoid list.

Tenting her blanket with her knees raised, Goldie scanned her notifications and re-read the two messages Sameera sent on Friday evening. The first included a cutesy clip of a kitten and an encouraging meme. The second message contained a link to the union’s online presence and Sameera’s suggestion to read the parts about workplace harassment. Why didn’t I … I could’ve lied, or just kept my mouth shut. Why’d I say all that stuff to her?

She grimaced at the photo of the sticky note. Why had she gone off on this specific note? What did it say, really? You don’t belong here. And, it had not even been stuck to her desk. Stuck to the bottom of a box. So, everything was good, and then I got freaked out by a sticky note. Never. Mention. Again. Please.

It had steamed up under the blanket tent and Goldie knew it was time to get out of bed. No one was going to nudge her along. Her father was on the road, Hussain and her mother had left for work, and the only people who remained in the house were Dariush and Goldie. There was just enough time to straighten her hair. In a half-hour, Goldie would be

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