Embracing Each Moment by Anam Thubten

Author:Anam Thubten
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shambhala

CHAPTER EIGHT

A Thorn Lodged in the Heart

IMAGINE THAT YOU WERE RAISED IN THE DESERT OR IN A jungle by animals. Animals cared for you and fed you exotic foods. Imagine that you never saw human beings in your life. I’m sure you would have some problems like being thirsty and hungry, but perhaps you would also have some of the human feelings such as fear, anxiety, jealousy, or resentment. It is very interesting to be part of this human family. We can learn how to love each other. We can experience intimacy, connection, and resolution with each other. At the same time, many of our internal conflicts arise from being part of this family. We all have conflict inside that has to do with our relationship with others.

Recently I was leading a weeklong meditation retreat. Every day I spoke with a group of people, and I also met with individuals. People felt very safe sharing their innermost secrets, their wounds, and their pain with me. They poured out everything in front of me. There is power in sharing and voicing what has been hidden. Amazingly, I learned that most of the time our pain and suffering originates out of our relationships with other human beings. It starts with our parents and other people who were close to us when we were young. Out of our experiences with other human beings, we feel hatred, resentment, and jealousy. We compare ourselves with others, sometimes feeling pride and other times feeling guilt, shame, and self-loathing. If we look inside, we can see that we all have wounds, pain, suffering, and self-loathing to a certain extent. They all come from our relationship with this human world. Sometimes we are not in touch with any internal conflict. We are not in touch with our own pain, anger, and self-loathing.

In one of his teachings, Buddha said that seeing people locked in conflict made him completely distraught. But on close examination, he discerned a thorn, hard to see, lodged deep in their hearts. Buddha felt distraught seeing people locked in conflict, and we see that too, right now in our own time. There is a lot of war happening in the world, and we cannot turn our attention away from it. There is also violence and injustice and an unbelievable amount of both physical and mental suffering. Therefore it is totally understandable to sometimes feel distraught or hopeless. Sometimes we are thinking about our human brothers and sisters who live on the other side of the world. We also see suffering in our own families and in ourselves. Remember, Buddha said that when he looked, he saw a thorn. It is a very powerful simile, a thorn. He said a thorn is lodged in our hearts. He also said that it is very hard to see. There are lots of thorns lodged in our hearts. They are hard to see unless we pay attention, unless we quiet our minds and turn our attention completely inward to hear the cry of our hearts and the confusion of our minds.

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