Earth Hates Me by Ruby Karp

Author:Ruby Karp [KARP, RUBY]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Running Press
Published: 2018-10-03T00:00:00+00:00

THE FIRST TIME

So, what about sex? The pressure to have sex is a big one. Being sexually active is something I’ve learned about in various health classes, but we all know there’s more to it than just the logistics. The pressure to have sex is tricky because it’s another kind of pressure that’s often self-inflicted. The first time I heard a friend had lost his virginity, I was shocked. It wasn’t as if I had never thought about sex before. Boys have been explaining (way too in-depth) their Internet discoveries since sixth grade. But this wasn’t just porn—this was real. So, when I heard that my friend—whom I had known since I was ten years old—was no longer a virgin, it got me thinking. Of all the racy scenes in movies I have seen, of all the TV show couples’ fights over who slept with who—was that my reality now? When I walked by newsstands and saw covers shouting things like “HOT SEX TIPS!”—was that something my friends were buying?

My scared freshman self tried to avoid conversations about sex with my friends at all costs. I wasn’t comfortable talking about it. I had been taught from a young age that your virginity is valuable and that when you lose it, it should be special. But now, virginity had become a topic at the forefront of everyone’s minds and conversations, and clearly not everyone believed in waiting. Over time, as more and more friends had their own stories about losing their virginity, it provoked an avalanche of anxiety within me. What if I don’t find a boyfriend to lose my virginity to? What if I feel so pressured to fit in that I end up having sex with someone I don’t care about, just so I’m no longer a virgin? What if it’s not special? What if the boy I do it with tells everyone, and then I’m the next Hester Prynne? I suddenly found myself surrounded by people who had found people to do it with, while I sat at home texting my mom. Nobody was asking me to not be a virgin, and honestly, nobody really cared. In my mind, though, I thought that it was the only thing in the world that mattered. The pressure was on—and it was all from my mind doing some serious overthinking.

Virginity is a complicated thing. For most of us, from a young age, there’s a standard put into our minds, claiming that our virginities are holier than Michelle Obama’s ads encouraging small children to spend more time outside. Let me set the record straight here: your virginity is your virginity. Your body is your temple, and that gives you freedom to do whatever you want with it. If you don’t think losing your virginity needs to be special, it doesn’t have to be. But it’s okay to wait too, for the right person and the right time. Don’t say yes when you want to say no. More than anything, you want to feel safe and comfortable with the person you’re with.

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