The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook for Teens by Jennifer Shannon & Doug Shannon & Christine Padesky

Author:Jennifer Shannon & Doug Shannon & Christine Padesky
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Young Adult Nonfiction, Depression & Mental Illness, Social Topics
ISBN: 9781608821891
Publisher: Instant Help
Published: 2012-05-31T21:00:00+00:00

If you need ideas, here are several sample ladders built for common avoidance/exposure

situations. The order of the rungs would probably be different for each person completing the ladder,

so rate how scary each exposure is for you by putting a number from 1 to 10 in the circle.

9.

Grab a Rung! Getting a Grip on Your Exposure Ladder

Have you completed your exposure ladder? Great—good work! Chances are, you are not exactly

jumping at the opportunity to do your first exposure. You may have tried something similar in the past

and regretted it. This time, you’re going to need a new strategy, better support, and a more accurate

way to judge the results. Let’s follow along with Alex as he prepares for his bottom rung by filling out

this exposure chart.

Alex begins by naming the exposure, or situation he has been avoiding, that he is now planning to

face—the lowest rung on his ladder, saying hi to Ginelle. The next row, his anxious prediction, is what

he is afraid will happen—and probably feels absolutely certain will happen—when he exposes himself

to the situation. Next is his perfectionist goal, an unrealistic expectation that only makes him more

anxious. Social perfectionism allows no room for mistakes or surprises, and if Alex goes into his

exposure with this goal in mind, he is doomed for failure.

Alex's idea that he has to appear calm and confident around girls is unrealistic and only makes him

more anxious.

Before Alex moves forward to the next part of the exposure chart, there is one more very important

question he must answer, which has to do with his past behavior, not his thinking. The question is,

what did he do to keep his anxious prediction from coming true?

Alex was once in a science class group project with Ginelle. He stayed in the group, and he even

actually spoke to her once, but before he opened his mouth he mentally rehearsed everything he was

going to say so it wouldn’t sound dumb. He never looked directly at Ginelle, and he spoke only about

the project itself, not about anything personal. The moment the conversation turned spontaneous, Alex

fixed his eyes on his notes and waited until the crisis had passed.

What Alex did is called safety behavior, and it is another more subtle form of avoidance. Safety

behaviors are what we do to keep the things we are afraid will happen from happening. It’s like

swimming with water wings on to keep yourself from drowning. Yes, you are in the water, but you’re

not really swimming. Water wings don’t help you gain confidence in your own ability to stay afloat.

You might always think the reason you did not drown was that you had your water wings on.

Here are some examples of safety behaviors:

Calling a friend but thinking out what you are going to say first, or texting instead of calling

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