Dr. Who - Telos Novellas 10 by Fallen Gods # Jonathon Blum & Kate Orman

Author:Fallen Gods # Jonathon Blum & Kate Orman [Blum, Fallen Gods # Jonathon & Orman, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

you’re

outnumbered ...

—Yes. If they want a world

With a cringing shudder he pulls

where they can put their own law

his eyes away from whatever he aside, and have justice lie down alone can see, then focuses

before strength, then they must blinking on her. —Sorry, he says,

accept that their strength must lie

his voice a ragged croak. —Did I

down before mine.

just miss something vital?

But it’s too much to repeat, and she lets the thought grow cold and hard inside her. Now, she tells him about the victory prayer, about what she did, and the words come out flat and lifeless.

He hunches his body over in the bed, bending to meet her gaze. I’m so sorry, his eyes say, and say it eloquently, but there’s no reaction on her own face. When he actually has to mouth the words, I’m so sorry, it’s like an admission of defeat.

He has no strength for anything more. His head sinks sideways to the bed, his eyes drift closed.

—What do I do? she asks.

—There are, ways to live with it.

—I’m not living with it, I’m dead with it.

—That too shall pass, he says faintly.

—A hundred thousand people, she cries. —How would you know,? His eyes open just a hair, and all she can see in them is the dead white. — Believe me, he says, in the raw tone she now, knows from her own mouth.

The eyes drift shut again, and the words start flowing out more freely.

A polished answer now, almost a glib one. —Time is fire, when I stop it burning in one place it spreads to another. A decision I make tonight could affect whole civilisations thousands of years hence. It happens everywhere I act. Empires live and cities die in the spaces between my thoughts, all unseen. I’ve killed far more people than I could ever know about.

—How can you deal with it?

—I can’t, he says, almost gently. —You can’t either.

Now, she’s feeling. Her body’s betraying her, curling inwards and shrivelling like a leaf in a fire.

He goes on. —It’s not the sort of thing you deal with. Compensate for, perhaps, like a man with an arm cut off. Or an old man whose memory has gone. You find a way to live without the part of you that you had before – the part that was sure of your innocence. But to deal with is to resolve, and I’m no good at resolutions. Just at moving on to the next moment.

—But it’s so big ...

He can only nod. —They are.

And it’s too big to think, waves crashing over her head, and all she can do is reach up, to his face, her fingers through his hair, and try to pull him to look at her from inches away. —I’m falling, she whispers. — Catch me.

—I can’t.

So her voice cracks, spilling out all the anger and ugliness she always knew was in there. —You brought me here. Put me up, so high. How can you turn me into this and make me face this and then just drop me?

—You’re looking for absolution, I can’t give it.

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