Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book by Jackie Martling

Author:Jackie Martling
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Fireside
Published: 1998-10-07T05:00:00+00:00

McCreedy goes up to the drugstore counter and says, “I need some condoms and some pesticide.”

The girl says, “Don’t you mean spermicide?”

He says, “No, I mean pesticide. My wife’s got a bug up her ass and I’m goin’ in after it.”

Bernstein and Nickau are walking along when a beautiful girl comes walking the other way.

Nickau says, “Let’s fuck her.”

Bernstein says, “Fuck her out of what?”

What’s the quietest place in the world?

The complaint department at the

parachute packing plant.

What’s the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else’s phlegm.

A guy walks into a bar and there’s a gorilla sitting in the corner.

He says to the bartender, “What’s with the gorilla?”

The bartender says, “I’ll show you.”

He takes a baseball bat from behind the bar, walks around, and smashes! the gorilla in the forehead with the baseball bat. The gorilla drops to his knees, and gives the bartender a blow job.

When the gorilla gets done, the bartender says, “What do you think?”

The guy says, “That’s great.”

The bartender says, “You want to try?”

The guy says, “Okay. But don’t hit me so hard.”

Baer is whittling, he doesn’t realize his zipper’s open, and he almost cuts off his dick.

His dick looks up and says, “You know, we’ve had a lot of fistfights, but I never thought you’d pull a knife on me.”

Do black people really talk funny?

No. It’s a miff.

Do you know what a “will-not” is?

A “will-not” is a little tiny ball of toilet paper that gets stuck

in the hairs of your ass and will not come out.

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