Desiring More by Raven Sky

Author:Raven Sky [Sky, Raven]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781636790381
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2021-09-01T04:00:00+00:00

Part Four: Wrestling with Desire

Struggle Erotica

Bossy

I am a smart, capable, accomplished woman. I tend to get what I want. At least nowadays. But getting here wasn’t easy. Because I used to be a smart, capable little girl, and like most little girls, I had to learn how to get shit done without earning the dreaded label of being “too bossy.” “Bossy” confused the younger me until I figured out, on some subconscious level, that it was something girls got called when they were too strong, too clever, too skillful. So I learned to hide those things about myself. To be just the right, non-threatening amount of talented and to direct attention for any of my success to other people’s influence. For the longest time, I didn’t even realize I was doing this.

A turning point came in my late thirties. Hanging out with friends of ours, another couple, drinking and ostensibly playing euchre, I stumbled into a rediscovery of the heady justness of being a woman who spoke her mind with zero fucks. Which was ironic because it was an abundant literal giving of passionate fucks that led to this revival.

I had been complaining about my latest haircut, explaining to my friends why I didn’t tell my hairdresser that I was unhappy with it. That was when Kendra exploded. “You’re paying a professional. Don’t leave until you get what you want.” Kendra was the femme half of our best friend couple. She was loud, larger than life, and unapologetic about being a big woman with strong opinions about, well…everything. Her boldness both scared me and drew me to her. Ash, her partner, was more even-keeled. Patient. The stereotypical strong but silent butch type. So they fit well together. A study in contrasts.

“She even tipped her,” Jade chimed in mischievously, which earned her an irritated glare from me.

“Jen, seriously,” Kendra started, gesturing wildly with her empty wineglass. “You’ve got to learn to speak up. You can’t go your whole life being afraid to express an opinion or ask for what you want. Like right now, I want a refill. You don’t see me hesitating to say, ‘Babe, top me up.’”

“I’m not afraid,” I protested as Ash promptly rose to fill her glass with a good-natured grin. She grabbed mine on the way to the kitchen too.

“Oh, please, Jennifer. I’ve been your friend for like, what, eight years now? I’ve heard you tell the same story a million times. You just need to practice…wait. Actually, that’s it.”

She was tipsy, and her eyes lit up, so I knew that whatever idea just popped into her head, it was going to direct our evening, as her whims usually did, often with amusing results.

Ash returned from the kitchen, handed the glasses over, then settled back into her chair. Kendra stared fixedly at her until she said, “What?”

“I think our friend Jen needs an intervention. A lesson in asking for what she wants. How about you bois treat us girls to a little massage?”

We all looked at each other.

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