Design Your Next Chapter by Debbie Travis

Design Your Next Chapter by Debbie Travis

Author:Debbie Travis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House of Canada
Published: 2018-11-19T16:00:00+00:00


COMMANDMENT 3

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GET UNSTUCK

We have to stop clinging to the shirttails of our past lives. We need to move on in our heads and, also, emotionally. We need to let go of that spouse we divorced and the routines and priorities of our lives as parents. We need to look past the job that has never felt right and find one that stimulates us. Memories are part of who we are, but when you embark on a new phase in your life, you need to be thinking forward not looking back.

To help unstick yourself from your old ways, try this exercise suggested by Lucy, the life coach who works with the women at our retreats. Write two separate letters to yourself, one about your past and the other about your future.

The first letter can be a simple list of your accomplishments so far: finishing university (or not, in my case!), meeting your partner, having your kids, milestones with friends, meaningful travels, landing your first big job. Describe what the previous years have meant to you. Include the good, the bad and (never forget) the ugly.

Devote real time to this letter to yourself, even if you end up scribbling away while sobbing into a large gin and tonic. I’ve been there, and I know that your emotions will range from pure joy and gratitude to sadness and even anger. Get it all down. When it’s done, read it through, and if you cry again, that’s fine. Cry happy tears and cry tears of pain. Cry for your losses and the wrong steps you took. Then bury that letter somewhere.

Now write a second letter—to your future self. Jot down what you would like to accomplish, your dreams, and your passions. Be in a positive frame of mind when you do this and spontaneously write what comes to you. Describe how dearly you want this next phase to happen—whether it’s a new job, a new business, a new country you want to explore, a new way to make a difference by helping others. Outline the commitment you promise to make to achieving this future. Mention your goals and the mindset you intend to be in for this next chapter.

Don’t bury this letter. Keep it handy. Read it frequently. When you feel at a loss or adrift or overwhelmed, read it again to remind yourself of the journey you’ve promised yourself to take.



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