Dangerous Salvation by Donita Bundy

Author:Donita Bundy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Donita Bundy

31

CONTESSA

Step.

Breathe.

Move.

Release.

The rhythm of the pattern, the harmony of the group, and the radiance of the Light was a potpourri that soothed my soul. A calming weight that grounded me into the eternity and immensity of the Light.

I could lose myself in the pattern. Release everything into the now.

The feeling.

The movement.

The discipline.

All the thoughts, doubts, accusations and anxieties were unleashed and released.

He is, therefore I am.

Not being a morning person, it took me a while to get used to starting the day this way. It took even longer to see the benefit and appreciate it. And it was only recently that I actually began to enjoy it. But now, it gave me a reason to get out of bed.

Yes, even in the dark. Seriously.

This helped in all kinds of ways. It helped me understand my purpose. In the past year, I had learned that I have a part to play. And to do that well, I needed to be the best I could be.

I still hadn’t come close to realising what my best looked like. I was a work in progress. And that was okay, as long as I kept progressing. Abbot was consistent in reminding me that none of us got it right first time. Everyone fell. It was whether you chose to keep on getting up and keep on trying. If you did, that was progress. Well, that’s what they all kept telling me.

I chose to believe them.

Kait liked to remind me that each morning was a fresh start. A chance to make over the mistakes from yesterday. A chance to move on. And who wouldn’t love that? I, for one, welcomed this gift with open arms. Because every day I made mistakes. A lot of mistakes. But that’s completely normal, right? Right.

But now, with a new audience, I was making more mistakes than ever. Which was all kinds of embarrassing. At least when the others watched me, they didn’t make it obvious. Dan’s stare was like a magnifying glass … in the sun … and I was like an ant jumping over hot concrete underneath its focus.

Despite the changes rocking our boat, and the burning at the back of my head, I was starting to see a bit of light with this new set up. There was an extra pair of hands to help with the chores. And an extra body to beat up and spar with in practice. And since I was on edge all the flopping time now, I enjoyed training more than ever.

Dan was a beacon. I could sense exactly where he was.

All. The. Time.

Trouble was, I couldn’t relax with him around. Ever. Which is why our morning routine was so important to induce calm. And training was so helpful in releasing tension and aggression. I mean, seriously, who wouldn’t embrace the opportunity to go all kinds of hard-core-combat over the person who drove you crazy?

My feelings about him were still tangled. It’s hard to explain. I mean, I know we all have walls, but Dan’s was a fortress … with a moat and a drawbridge.

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