Damaged 2 - Damaged Trust by Anne Pine

Author:Anne Pine [Pine, Anne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gay & Lesbian, Literature & Fiction, Fiction, Gay, Romance, Gay Romance, Genre Fiction, Lgbt, Gay Fiction
Amazon: B018YIH3QS
Published: 2015-12-02T23:00:00+00:00

8

The Downward Spiral

Friday

Eli

I'm discharged from the hospital the next day, but I still haven't heard from Jack. Caroline picks me up, and I ask her to take me to Jack's building. I don't even make it into the main lobby before I'm stopped by the doorman, Steve.

"Mr. Mason." Steve detains me with a gentle hand on my arm. "Mr. Winthrop requested that you not be permitted back in the building."

He gives me a pitying look, a look that I'm sure he's given Jack's past lovers when they got dumped and came pawing back at the door. Am I one of those pathetic ex-subs now? Jack said that I was different, that I was special to him. So, how could he do this to me? I don't understand. I feel myself flushing with embarrassment as an angry shame settles in my gut. My eyes start to sting, and I clench my jaw to hold back the tears. This is my home, too. I might not own the place, but I've lived here for the last four months. He can't just kick me out without an explanation.

"I just need to talk to him," I insist. "This is all a misunderstanding."

"I'm sorry, Sir," Steve murmurs regretfully. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

I feel nauseous as I back away from the doorman. I can't believe Jack would ban me from the building. I can't believe he would just abandon me for no reason. I don't know what I've done to cause this. And I still don't doubt for a second that this is my fault. I had to have done something wrong. Jack doesn't make mistakes. The man is practically perfect. He's like the Mary Fucking Poppins of the BDSM world.

Then, the thought crosses my mind that maybe I haven't done anything wrong. Maybe I'm just wrong. Maybe Jack finally realized that he's too good for me, that we don't fit. I've always known that I didn't deserve him, but I'd almost convinced myself that I was worthy of his love, that I'm someone to be valued and cherished.

Apparently, I'm not.

Which means that I never was.

My shoulders sag as I turn to head back towards Caroline's waiting car. I don't speak to her as I slide into the passenger seat. She tries to talk to me, but it's as though I'm hearing her through a thick fog of static. Her lips are moving, but I can't process the words coming out of her mouth. It doesn't matter anyways. There's nothing she could say that would make this better. My entire world just collapsed, and I don't know if I have the strength to put the pieces back together again this time.

Caroline stops at the drive-through pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions before taking me back to my apartment. I don't say a word the entire time we're in the car. I don't know if I'm even capable of speaking right now. I feel like even the slightest parting of my lips will open the floodgates, and I don't want Caroline to see me cry.

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