Curse Of The Clown by Douglas Lindsay

Author:Douglas Lindsay [Lindsay, Douglas]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Barney Thomson crime black comedy
Publisher: Long Midnight Publishing
Published: 2020-03-22T16:00:00+00:00

23

Saturday Night, Sunday Morning

At eleven-fifteen in the evening, Barney and Sergeant Monk finally walked back into their own house in Millport. The house was cold, and since they knew they wouldn’t be going to bed any time soon, Barney turned on the heating, hesitated between the kettle and the wine in the fridge, Monk noticed the prevarication and shouted, ‘Wine, please!’ as she headed up the stairs, and Barney took two glasses from the cupboard.

The last three hours at the Comrie Hydro had been a whirlwind of frantic police activity. The place had already been on lockdown, although it had become apparent that the down hadn’t been nearly locked as much as it should’ve been, and so further officers were called. Cars were searched, bags were searched, every guest and member of staff was re-interviewed, and each guest was immediately marched from the premises and sent on their way.

The body of Landon Prentice was discovered by search dogs in an air vent. Meanwhile, the body of a yet unnamed man, from whom the other rogue penis had been removed, was found inside a top loading washing machine.

Logically the police knew they were likely letting the killer leave the hotel when they pushed everyone out, but there was little they could do. Thumper Adams had quickly brought a lawyer on board, and there’d been no way for the police to keep over fifty people confined in the building, pending a successful conclusion to their inquiry. And it was entirely possible, of course, that the killer would already have fled before the confinement had begun.

Charles Walker was questioned at length about the movements of his leather briefcase, and how it was possible that the balloon came to have been left inside. Walker, naturally, did not have an answer. He had, however, left his briefcase unattended in his room, and also in the hotel lobby for a while, and so the killer would have had access to it without his knowledge.

Written on the requisite small note, attached to the red, helium-filled balloon, had been the picture of a demonic clown, and the words, Tick tock, tick tock, The Koiffing Klown will have your cock.

Despite having been quite fond of the briefcase, he’d been happy to hand it over to the police. Few men still long for the use of a briefcase after it’s housed an unwanted, bloody, severed penis. He’d been upset that they’d also taken away his prized pair of Bender Strattocutters, but the police had naturally insisted on the bag, and everything inside it, being impounded.

And so the sad troupe of barbers had retired from the calamitous conference. Barney and Monk had driven off, and Igor and Keanu had driven off, Sophia not coming with Keanu at this point, and they’d come in convoy back to Largs, and they’d had to leave their cars in the town overnight, and Monk had called a police boat from along the coast, and it had delivered them to Millport pier.

Soon enough Barney and Monk

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