Crystal Jordan - Sexy Shifters - 1 by HP_Administrator

Author:HP_Administrator [HP_Administrator]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-01-16T23:42:08.178000+00:00

* * * * *

After dinner, Jain and Kesuk returned to her room. She expected him to pull her into his arms and make her scream for hours. She shivered, a little grin playing over her lips. He made just as much noise as she did when they had sex. Instead, he sat down on the bed, his fingers splayed on his spread knees. His expression was unusually serious. “Since you came here, you act as though you’re living someone else’s life. As though all this is temporary and you intend to wake up soon. You pull back when circumstances becomes too real, when you feel too much. You did it when we loved the first time and again tonight with Miki.”

Crap. He’d noticed that? She sighed. “That’s how I was raised, Kesuk.”

“Hiding from life won’t make it stop moving forward without you.”

“Like time did.”

He snorted. “An unfortunate comparison, but yes.”

His hands curved around her waist, lifting her astride his lap. The position brought her eye to eye with him, and nothing had ever felt this intimate. This right.

She jerked back, denying herself and him. “I shouldn’t want you this much. Ever since I came here, everything’s been jumbled up and confused. I didn’t used to be like this. I never doubted who I was or what my purpose was. Everything was clear…what I should do, who I should be with, where I should go. It was all planned, all logical. My life made sense.”

“That was the way of your world, your people. Everything ordered and in its place. Life is not about planning every moment. Joy comes in the spontaneity of life, Jain. It doesn’t have to make sense. Sometimes people die when they shouldn’t. They also love where they shouldn’t. Those are things you cannot decide.”

“I enjoyed my life before,” she insisted.

“Such rigidity is not a good thing in one as young as you.”

“I’m over five hundred years older than you.”

He cocked a thick blond brow and folded his arms.

“All right, fine. I’m still not that young. And I’m not rigid, I’m logical.”

“No, your family was logical, perhaps. Your mate. But not you.

You pretend to be logical because you think you should, because it’s safer to believe you’re in control. Deny yourself all you want, but I see the passionate woman in you. I’ve held that woman in my arms, clawing my back, screaming my name in ecstasy.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, shutting out the image he painted.

He was right. She’d always pulled back when emotions got too deep. Her family had been scientists, eminently logical. Nothing emotional was acceptable. Since her husband had left her for another woman and her parents had died, her emotions had been locked in ice, frozen and untouchable. Was that who she really was? Who she really wanted to be?

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