Cop Craft Volume 4 by Shouji Gatou

Author:Shouji Gatou [GATOU, Shouji]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gagaga Bunko

For better or for worse, O’Neill only broke a few ribs, and that was that.

While they were carrying him on a stretcher in the elevator, he regained consciousness. Matoba started shouting in his ear.

「O’Neill. There’s something that I want to ask you」

「Oh… dear God. I am now in the middle of the worst nightmare. A dream with soft, fleshy road rollers. Please take this fear away from me. Despite the fact that the woman’s name is a blasphemy in and of itself, I only gave it to her because I thought it was a little funny… no, are you perhaps angry at me? I will reflect. I will reflect. But I can’t take this anymore. Please forgive me, please forgive me, please forgive me…」

O’Neill looked up at the elevator’s ceiling, and started sweating profusely, while muttering deliriously. He was talking quite a lot for someone with a few broken ribs.

「O’Neill, there’s something I want you to take a look at」

「Oh… well if it isn’t Detective Matoba. Are you one of the guardsmen in Hell? This is quite the obvious choice of casting, but I do not have any bribes on me that I could pay Satan with… You can just fade away! I belong in Heaven. But not that old fashioned Heaven where a fanfare resonates as you enter, I would rather arrive at a Heaven where a funky groove is constantly playing. Oh… I can see it. Bootsy Collins sporting beautiful wings on his back, dancing in the middle of a blinding light」

What was he even saying at this point? Was it because they had to sedate him with some weird drug?

「O’Neill. It’s about that lead you gave me. You told me that two smugglers were having some private conversation with each other, right? I wanted to ask you about their appearance and—」

And right then, the elevator arrived on the upper floor. The ambulance paramedic interrupted Matoba.

「Mr. Detective, the patient is in pain. Please stop」

「Isn’t that why he’s high in the first place? It’s important, just give me a little time」

「But—」

「He won’t die anyways! Hey, please」

He realized that what he was saying sounded awful, but going along with O’Neill in the ambulance until he arrived at the hospital was something he could not do. Just that would cost him several hours.

「In any case, O’Neill. Those two smugglers you saw are the issue here. What kind of guys were they?」

「Uugh… Will I be able to go to heaven if I answer that question?」

「Are you kidding? There’s no way someone like you would ever be able to go to Heaven… no, I’m sorry. You’ll get to go, you’ll definitely go. You’ll be a First Class guest when you get to go there. 」

「First class? Seriously?」

「Yeah. You’ll be able to drink as much extremely expensive wine and cognac as you wish」

「Ugh… but I said that I don’t want to drink alcohol ever again…」

「It’s fine, just answer the question already, you drunk bastard!」

The paramedics who were standing right there stopped Matoba from grabbing O’Neill forcibly by the neck.

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