Cinders & Ashes: Book One by X. Aratare

Author:X. Aratare [Aratare, X.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Gay / Lesbian / LGBT
Goodreads: 53554264
Publisher: Raythe Reign Publishing
Published: 2020-08-19T22:00:00+00:00

SEE YOU AGAIN

Rohan woke to a feeling of bliss. He could see the sun behind his eyelids. He heard birdsong. Any minute, his breakfast would be brought in and the day would begin. All the responsibilities and uncertainties would weigh down on him. Usually, that would either force him to wakefulness or have him burrowing under the covers. But, strangely, at that moment, Rohan did not feel either urge and he was smiling and felt light and didn’t know why.

Then someone moved against him.

Finn.

The smile increased. He opened his eyelids. The cabin was awash in golden light that was falling through the open doorway, directly on top of their entwined bodies. The rain had stopped and, shockingly, the Lupine Woods looked beautiful. Refreshed. Water dripped down off of the leaves. The sunlight caused the droplets to glitter.

A taste of what was, Rohan thought. Perhaps what could be.

And there was this sense--however unfounded--that it was due to Finn. Rohan looked down to see the top of Finn’s head pillowed on his chest. The young man was still asleep. His dark eyelashes fanned over his olive skin. Finn’s lips were pursed as if he were perplexed by something. Rohan wondered if he was dreaming. He always had dreams just before he woke, but Finn seemed deeply asleep.

He’s exhausted. Whatever family he serves works him very hard, I think.

The servants at the castle were treated with respect and were given fair wages, food, drink, clothing and a warm place to lay their heads every night. When they were too old or sick to work, they were sent to estates to live out their days in peace and comfort. Rohan doubted that Finn got anything like that. For a moment, he considered telling Finn who he was and offering him a position at the castle. They were always in need of clever young people.

He is so proud. Would he even take it if I offered? Rohan grimaced. He thought likely Finn would not. Then he added guiltily, If he did take me up on my offer everything would change between us. As soon as I bring him under my protection then this will never happen again. I will never hold him. Never kiss him. Never sleep by his side.

Rohan was shocked and dismayed at these feelings, both selfish and not. Finn was to have been one of those lovers he took once and walked away from, never to see again. That’s what he always did! But here he was thinking about the next time they would be together. Here he was thinking that having Finn again meant more than helping him. And that last thought brought shame.

Finn spoke of his fellow servants like family, Rohan thought. Even if we got past his pride to accept my help, he would not wish to leave them.

But to serve the king… wouldn’t Finn choose that? But then Finn would be doing that serving out of duty and not desire. But by not offering Finn this opportunity was Rohan being unspeakably selfish?

It is all too soon to feel like this, Rohan reminded himself.

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